Friday, July 11, 2014

The Meaning of Life by Debra H. Goldstein

The Meaning of Life by Debra H. Goldstein
Recently I’ve been giving a lot of thought to the meaning of life and its other alternative. This isn’t a new topic for me to explore. I first started thinking about it shortly after my fiftieth birthday when I woke one morning to find my arms had turned to flab and I had become my mother. The thoughts were generated by a discussion with a friend who was in the last stages of cancer. She was questioning what purpose living in her debilitated state had and whether after we die, we are remembered or the life we lived fades away.
I couldn’t answer her questions. I was too focused on reaching outside my comfort zone to find ways to ease her journey. When she died, I decided her purpose was the seed of herself planted in others through charitable doing, mentoring, and touching people at the right time. Her nourishment of others left ideas, feelings, and values to reseed the next generation.
Time went on and I didn’t spend much time dwelling on the meaning of life. I was too busy enjoying the life cycle events that constantly were occurring in the lives of my friends and my own family. Trips to visit and cuddle new babies, writing events, the coming of age Bar Mitzvah ceremony of a nephew, graduations from pre-school through professional school, and the joy of watching my daughter walk down the aisle to be with the man she has chosen to spend the rest of her life with consumed my waking hours. Why dwell on life and death when so many things were going on?
I was attending a writer’s conference being held on a property in Disneyworld when I glanced down at my smartphone and noticed an email entitled “OMG.” Above “OMG” was an endless string of responding e-mails. A friend who was a wife, mother, respected professional, devoted kayaker, and person who was taking me out for a birthday lunch the next week had had a cerebral bleed and died within minutes the night before. Everyone, including me, was in shock that this young and healthy vibrant woman was gone. No “why” made sense.
My other friends and I went on living. At one of the other planned lunch celebrations for my birthday, one of our lunch bunch mentioned she was celebrating her 25th wedding anniversary. Knowing she had married a much older man and that part of his proposal had been he would be hers for at least twenty-five years, we asked what he had given her for their special anniversary. The answer: the promise of trying for another twenty-five years as wonderful as the first. Last week, our lunch bunch held our breath when this man who never gets sick was hospitalized with pneumonia and a low blood count. We all feared he wouldn’t be able to keep his promise. Happily, his positive response to medical treatment has given them the opportunity to share many more years together.
In Jewish tradition, between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, it is decided who shall live and who shall die. At the time of Yom Kippur, one’s fate hopefully is inscribed in the book of life. I don’t know how or why the final decision is made. I cannot venture a guess as to our true purpose in living or if there is an existential meaning of life, but I do know I value every moment of it that I share with my family, friends, and those individuals I will meet in the future.
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P.S.  I try to keep my personal blog "It's Not Always a Mystery" - or found through my website, by clicking DHG's Blog - separate from what I post on The Stiletto Gang, but the reaction to the recent posting of The Meaning of Life convinced me that it might be an interesting piece to share The Stiletto Gang's readers, too.  After all, we are all searching for The Meaning of Life. I look forward to hearing your personal reactions to this post.  Debra


  1. Thought-provoking blog, Debra. Glad you posted it here. The meaning/purpose of our lives is such an eternal question. The older I become, the more I ponder it. And since, I may never find the answer in this lifetime, all I can do is be the best person I can be in the here-and-now and hope my presence makes this world a better place for someone, somehow.

  2. Debra, this post brought tears to my eyes! It's a hard question to ask ourselves, especially as we age and change. I read a line in a book that resonated with me: "the only thing we have to do is live." it's a good mantra to keep on keeping on.

  3. The older I become the more I've begun to suspect that there are no Big Answers to the questions you raise in your thoughtful post, Debra. I also have concluded that it is important to consider the Big Questions even if we do not end up with definitive answers. Thank you for raising them here. If we don't stop and think about these things occasionally at least, then life rushes by in a blur and we may not seize its true essence.