Do You Have What It Takes to be a Cheese Whiz? Archaic Words

By Kathleen Kaska 

When I worked at Cave Art Press, a small publishing company in Anacortes, one of my tasks was to write the weekly blog posts. It had to address writing styles, grammar and punctuation rules, and the down and dirty of publishing and marketing—and it had to be funny. These blog posts eventually became a tongue-in-cheek book entitled, "Do You Have a Catharsis Handy? Five Minute-Writer Tips." Here's one about archaic words and my own take on them.

Thanks to Google, I stumble upon many of my Writing Tips topics by accident. Here are some archaic (did they ever really exist?) but entertaining words and phrases that I discovered while I was researching other topics, along with some neologisms of my own:

With Squirrel: If you were a woman who lived in the Ozarks many moons ago and you found yourself “with squirrel,” then you were expecting a child. (Vance Randolph’s Down in the Holler: A Gallery of Ozark Folk Speech, 1953). I would call such a woman Squirrely.

Lunting: I suspect that Sherlock Holmes was into lunting—i.e., walking while smoking a pipe. (John Mactaggart’s Scottish Gallovidian Encyclopedia, 1824). I would call people who do this lunters.

The following are from The Word Museum: The Most Remarkable English Words Ever Forgotten, by Jeffrey Kacirk:

Spermologer: It doesn’t mean what you think. A spermologer is a columnist! Three of my favorites are Father Ron Rolheiser; Austin native, John Kelso; and funny-lady, Lisa Scottoline. In my world I’d refer to them as wittyosophers.

Queerplungers: An English term for a scam in which an individual jumped into water, was “rescued” by accomplices, and was subsequently taken in by rehab houses that cared for people who tried to commit suicide. In the benevolent society of the time, the rescuers were rewarded with a guinea each, while the person who “attempted suicide” was sent away with a monetary donation to make his life less depressing. Maybe a better word for these folks would be Scam Dunkers. 

Finally, my favorite:

Tyromancy: If you can’t find a crystal ball, use cheese! One of my Cave Art Press colleagues thought tyromancy sounds like “a Jurassic love story.” In fact, it is the act of predicting birth, love, and death by reading the appearance of a piece of cheese. It is also the act of using cheese to answer questions: the most obvious answers to a question are written on pieces of cheese (one answer per piece). The pieces of cheese are fed to a rat. Whichever piece is eaten first is the answer to the question.

I suspect a person who engaged in this method of prediction and became notable would have been called a tyromaniac. I would call him a cheez-whiz. 

This is my last post as a member of the Stiletto Gang, but I will stay in touch and follow you wonderfully, creative authors. 

Best always,

Kathleen

Kathleen is a Texas gal. Except for an eighteen-month hiatus living in New York City after college, she continuously lived in the Lone Star State for fifty years. Since then, Texas has been hit and miss—a little hit, but a hell of a lot of miss. There was a time when she thought she would happily die in Austin, Texas. But circumstances and weather—especially weather—changed that. Now she spends most of the year on Fidalgo Island in Washington State with a view of the bay and the mountains. When she gets homesick, she and her husband plug in the iPhone to Willie—as in Nelson. Soon they are dancing the two-step, imagining they are at our favorite honky-tonk in Tokio, Texas, where the mayor is believed to be a dog. Who wouldn't miss that?

Kathleen writes mysteries. She blogs about writing, publishing, marketing, animal rights, birding, and quirky things that come to mind. Go to her website: Kathleen Kaska and check out her latest blog series, "Growing Up Catholic in a Small Texas Town."

The Art of Letter Writing

 

Kathleen Kaska

 

When was the last time you wrote a letter or received one?

With texting, tweeting, emailing, and Facebook messaging available as popular (and expedient) forms of communication, people rarely write letters nowadays. Why bother, you might ask? I just order the book, Chickens, Gin, and a Maine Friendship: The Correspondence of E. B. White and Edmund Ware Smith. When I saw E. B. White on the cover, I ordered it immediately. I love his writing. I didn’t pay attention to the subtitle, so I was surprised to see that it was a collection of letters between two friends. I haven’t read the book yet; I’m savoring it for a vacation when I don’t have to focus on a bazillion other things. But it got me thinking.

I’m fortunate to have a friend who still prefers to communicate this old-fashioned way. We met several years ago when I interviewed her for a book I was writing about her father. Although she uses email, she does so mainly for business. She and I chat on the phone, but we also write letters to one another. I have kept every letter she has written me, as well as copies of those I’ve written to her.

Beyond my correspondence with my letter-writing friend, I write a Christmas letter to my family, though not every year. I write letters to my young great-niece and nephews, since they live in Texas and I’m in Washington State. I don’t want them to forget about me.

I think the reason letter writing is rare is that it takes time and effort. Getting started is especially hard. I could begin with a comment on the weather, how I’m feeling, or what I’ve been up to, but those topics seem humdrum. What helps me get past “Dear Stephanie,” is a reminder to start with a quirky thought that’s been brewing in my brain—something like why
I choose to have two olives with my martini on one night and three on another. After that first paragraph is written, I’m off and running with three or four pages pounded out in a few minutes.

Electronic communication fosters little forethought as to what to say, or how to say it. “I have a question; here it is.” Or, “I have some information you need; read this quickly.” I also find that if I send an email with too many questions, most of them go unanswered. Sadly no one seems to read lengthy emails. I even had a publisher who consistently ignored most of what I asked. I soon learned to ask just one question per email.

Letter writing, on the other hand, takes thought, creativity, and consideration for the recipients of the letters. You don’t want to bore them to death with mundane information. You want to make them laugh and understand what’s really going on in your head and your life.

I look back on the first letters I wrote to my friend; most contained questions about her father’s activities. But after my book was published The Man Who Saved the Whooping Crane: The Robert Porter Allen Story University Press of Florida, 2012) we began communicating on a more personal level, and a true friendship developed. I enjoy reading her letters, being able to hold them, stick them in my purse, and reread them. I know she’s put time and effort into her letters to me—and that makes me feel special. I hope she feels the same way when she receives one of mine.

I’m not sure what I will eventually do with all our correspondence, but I’m glad to have it. My friend lives across the country, so I rarely see her. Our letters keep us close. 

Do you know of other similar books that are collections of letters? 

Kathleen Kaska is the author of The Sherlock Holmes Quiz Book (Rowman & Littlefield Publishing Group). She is the founder of The Dogs in the Nighttime: Holmes Society of Anacortes, Washington, a scion of The Baker Street Irregulars. Kathleen writes the awarding-winning Sydney Lockhart Mystery Series and the Kate Caraway Mystery Series. Her passion for birds led to the publication The Man Who Saved the Whooping Crane: The Robert Porter Allen Story. Kathleen’s collection of blog posts, Do You Have a Catharsis Handy? Five-Minute Writing Tips won the Chanticleer International Book Award in the non-fiction Instruction and Insights category.

 

Go to her website and sign up for her newsletter. Look for her bi-monthly blog: “Growing Up Catholic in a Small Texas Town” because sometimes you just have to laugh.

 

http://www.kathleenkaska.com

http://www.blackopalbooks.com

https://twitter.com/KKaskaAuthor

http://www.facebook.com/kathleenkaska

 

 

Clicking Our Heels - Summer Vacation Preferences

CLICKING OUR HEELS – SUMMER VACATION PREFERENCES

Can you believe summer is almost over? Three more days and no more white shoes or white pants! Before summer ends, the Stiletto Gang members thought we’d share our favorite summer vacations – indoors/outdoors, beach/mountains, or staycation.

Debra H. Goldstein:  The Beach! Something about the white capped swirling water and glistening sand is my nirvana.

Anita Carter: Definitely outdoors. One of my favorite vacations was when my husband and I traveled to Hawaii for 10 days. We island hopped. We had the best time at the beach and hiking through the mountains and around the volcanos. I’d love to go again.

T.K. Thorne: I have to see the ocean regularly or something inside doesn’t get fed. Also, I live on a mountain, so I get my tree and fresh air fix every day.

Debra Sennefelder: Staycation. I really don’t like summer weather. I much prefer air conditioning.

Kathryn Lane: My husband and I spend the summers in the mountains of northern New Mexico near Taos, where we enjoy outdoor adventures as well as watching wildlife drift by from our cabin deck.

Dru Ann Love: I like sightseeing various locations, so outdoors. Staycations are good as well.

Kathleen Kaska:  It’s the beach for me – anytime.

Robin Hillyer-Miles: Beach or staycation!

Lois Winston: I much prefer a warm getaway in the winter, but I’m not a beach person. I love exploring museums, ancient sites, and foreign cities.

Linda Rodriguez: Anymore, I’m a stay-at-home person most of the time, thanks to health issues. In summer, you’ll find me inside in the air conditioning or sitting on my spacious porch, spinning or knitting and chatting with my neighbors.

Shari Randall: I’m a culture vulture, so I’d love to somewhere with great museums and theater. I live near a beach, so I’ll admit it, I’m spoiled.

Mary Lee Ashford: My summer vacation preference would be outdoors with a beach and a book! Staycations are fun but since I’ve been working from home since March 2020, I am more than ready to see some walls that aren’t my own.

Gay Yellen: Mountains. Hiking in a cool mountain forest is the best break from summer in the city.

Lynn McPherson: I love the beach and the mountains. I'm home most of the time so when vacation time rolls around I'm ready to go explore new places.

Cathy Perkins: What is a vacation these days? When I can travel again, definitely the beach!

You Lie Down with Dogs, You Wake Up in Hot Water: Metaphors Aren’t Antisocial—But They Don’t Always Mix Well

I love metaphors. When I come across a great one while reading, I write it down as a reminder to spend time crafting them. Here are some musings on metaphors. Mixing metaphors—combining two unrelated idioms—is considered a grammatical faux pas. But in the right circumstances, mixing metaphors fosters a more creative comparison, makes your readers think, and may even produce chuckles.

·      Don’t eat with your mouth open for business.  

·      I’ll ride shotgun in the backseat.

·      Earl tucked tail and left in a cloud of smoke.

·      When life hands you a lemon, make an ice cream sundae.

·      Shape up or sink like a stone.

·      Don’t count your chickens before you put their eggs in your basket.

·      Beating around the bush may get you in deep water.

·      Cross that bridge after you’ve burned it.

·      The quiet before the storm preceded a blast from the past.

·      Wake up and smell the writing on the wall.

·      If you lie down with dogs, you’ll wake up in hot water.

Finally, what would a tip on mixing metaphors be without mentioning the master metaphor-mixer, Yogi Berra? Here are a few of my favorite Yogisms:

·      “Pair up in threes.”

·      “Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel.”

·      “The future ain’t what it used to be.”

·      “No one goes there [restaurant] anymore; it’s too crowded.”

·      “Baseball is ninety percent mental. The other half is physical.”

·      “When you come to a fork in the road, take it!”

 

I’m a Texas gal. Except for an eighteen-month hiatus living in New York City after college, I lived in the Lone Star State continuously for fifty years. Since then, Texas has been hit and miss—a little hit, but a heck of a lot of miss. There was a time when I thought I would happily die in Austin, Texas. But circumstances and weather—especially weather—changed that. Now I spend most of the year on Fidalgo Island in Washington State with a view of the bay and the mountains. When I get homesick, my husband and I listen to Willie Nelson. Soon we are dancing the two-step, imagining we are at our favorite honky-tonk in Tokyo, Texas, where the mayor is believed to be a dog. Who wouldn’t miss that?

 

I write the awarding-winning mystery series: the Sydney Lockhart Mystery Series set in the 1950s and the Classic Triviography Mystery Series, which includes The Sherlock Holmes Quiz Book, updated and released by Lyons Press on November 1, 2020. My Kate Caraway animal-rights mystery series includes Run Dog Run and A Two Horse Town. Eagle Crossing is scheduled for release in 2022.

 

Look for Sherlock Holmes of Baking Street, an anthology by notable authors and Sherlockians. I’m honored to have a Holmes short story included.

 

        On my website, you can also find my Five-Minute Writing Tips and blog posts about publishing,                 marketing, birding, and quirky things that come to mind. Kathleen Kaska

 

Just released in May—Sherlock Holmes of Baking Street. I was honored to be asked to contribute a Holmes short story or essay for this anthology. I'd always wanted to try my hand at writing a Holmes pastiche. Finally, this was the nudge I need. My story is "The Adventure at Old Basingstoke." Also included is my recipe for scones since the theme of the anthology is baking. 

 

 

 

Police Blotter Fodder: “To Save Herself, She Bit the Cop on the Leg”

Where to Go for Ideas When You Are Stuck

by Kathleen Kaska

Need an idea for a short story, blog post, or a novel? Check out the newspapers. I don’t necessarily mean the front page. In our town, the most entertaining reading comes from police blotters. The reports are a wellspring of ideas for writers. Some are written tongue-in-cheek, and I can imagine the fun police officers must have in crafting them. 

Recently, the police in a nearby city uncovered a murder-for-hire plot by an inmate in the county jail who was enlisting the help of a fellow inmate to murder the man responsible for the first guy’s incarceration. These were the instructions he gave to the would-be killer: “Wet him with gasoline; dry him with a match.” That’s a pretty good line; right out of a Mickey Spillane novel. If this guy ever went straight, he might make it as a pulp fiction writer.

Or how about this one? A few weeks ago, the police in my quiet, little town were called to a motel where a woman insisted they arrest her. She was hiding out from her ex-husband and current boyfriend who, according to the woman, were plotting to kill her. The cops explained they could not fulfill her wish because she hadn’t committed a crime. With a that’s-what-you-think attitude, she began pounding on the windshield of the squad car. When one of the officers tried to restrain her, she bit him on the leg. At least for the next few days, the woman had the protection she’d requested.

And another: A guy was shoplifting at Safeway. When the cops arrived to question him, he made his getaway on a motorized shopping cart, which he drove down the middle of Commercial Avenue. The shoplifter received applause from the bystanders who cheered him on as if he were the Grand Marshall of a parade.

And one more: Several people complained about a homeless man who was causing a ruckus in a downtown square. The police arrived and realized the man was arguing and shouting profanities at someone only he could see. The cops told him to apologize to his imaginary friend. He did.

End of story.

This is an excerpt from my book, Does Anyone Have a Catharsis Handy? Five-Minute Writing Tips.

Kathleen Kaska is the author of The Sherlock Holmes Quiz Book (Rowman & Littlefield Publishing Group). She is the founder of The Dogs in the Nighttime: Holmes Society of Anacortes, Washington, a scion of The Baker Street Irregulars. Kathleen writes the awarding-winning Sydney Lockhart Mystery Series and the Kate Caraway Mystery Series. Her passion for birds led to the publication The Man Who Saved the Whooping Crane: The Robert Porter Allen Story. Kathleen’s collection of blog posts, Do You Have a Catharsis Handy? Five-Minute Writing Tips won the Chanticleer International Book Award in the non-fiction Instruction and Insights category.

Go to her website and sign up for her newsletter. Look for her bi-monthly blog: “Growing Up Catholic in a Small Texas Town” because sometimes you just have to laugh.

http://www.kathleenkaska.com

http://www.blackopalbooks.com

https://twitter.com/KKaskaAuthor

http://www.facebook.com/kathleenkaska

 

Welcome Kathleen Kaska!

by Sparkle Abbey

We're thrilled to share that Kathleen Kaska has joined The Stiletto Gang group and will be blogging on the first Friday of the month starting tomorrow! So we thought we’d take this opportunity to introduce the award-winning mystery author and learn more about her. 

Q: What do you write?

I write mysteries: mainly cozies, but also traditional and police procedurals, and some nonfiction. I like to try different styles of writing.

I write the Sydney Lockhart Mystery Series set in the 1950s. This is lighthearted and humorous in the style of Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plump series. Each book takes place in a different historic hotel. I also write the Kate Caraway Animal Right’s Mystery Series. I just finished a hardboiled detective mystery set in 1945 Manhattan and am halfway through a zany British detective story set on the North Cornish Coast.

Q: What got you started on your writing journey?

I knew I wanted to write mysteries but didn’t know how to start, so I joined the Austin Writer’s League, now the Writer’s League of Texas, and started taking creative writing classes. I collected how-to writing books, subscribed to writer's magazines, and joined a critique group. In doing so, I tried my hand at different things. Travel writing, articles about education (I was teaching at the time), and even became the editor of a local wildlife organization's newsletter.

Within a short time, I was asked to be a staff writer of an outdoor adventure and fitness magazine. A textbook publisher contacted me to contribute to middle school science textbooks. This didn't help in writing mysteries, but I knew I had to start somewhere. Breaking into the world of fiction writing, and getting published, was not going to be easy, so I started with nonfiction, writing three mystery trivia books. I landed an agent, and all three books sold. Only then did I start writing my own mysteries.

Q: Are you a “spoiler” and read the end of the book before you finish it or do you read cover to cover?

I’m a cover-to-cover reader. I read slowly, often rereading my favorite passages. If I miss the meaning of a sentence, I read it over until I understand. I read from the perspective of a reader and a writer.

Q: Did you have a favorite author as a child?

I wasn’t an avid reader as a child until I read The Island of the Blue Dolphins, followed by The Hound of the Baskervilles. Then I picked up Agatha Christie. Little did I know that I’d eventually write a book about Arthur Conan Doyle, and Agatha Christie.

Q. What do you do to unwind and relax? Do you have a hobby?

I’m a runner and put in several miles every week. This is my quiet, contemplation time where I work out plot issues in my novels and design scenes and conversations between my characters. I am also a birder and enjoy being outdoors with my friends and family. My passion for birds led to the publication of the biography, The Man Who Saved the Whooping Crane: The Robert Porter Allen Story (University Press of Florida).

Q. What are you working on now?

This year will be a busy, exciting year. I’ve started a new mystery series, I'm just barely into it, and I have a publisher eager to see it when finished. I have another publisher who’s interested in picking up and reissuing my Sydney Lockhart series. And I hope my third Kate Caraway mystery will be released by the end of the year; that’s a big hope.

One of my mystery trivia books, The Sherlock Holmes Quiz Book, was picked up, updated, and reissued on November 1, 2020. 

I have podcast interviews coming up in the next few weeks. My website lists the podcast interviews and YouTube interviews, scheduled in the next few weeks, as well as previous events.

Where can readers connect with you?

http://www.kathleenkaska.com

https://twitter.com/KKaskaAuthor

http://www.facebook.com/kathleenkaska

https://www.instagram.com/kathleenkaska/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/kathleen-kaska-942aa511/ 

https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/178776.Kathleen_Kaska 

https://www.pinterest.com/kathleenkaska/_saved/

Connect with Sparkle Abbey 

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Pinterest | Amazon | Goodreads

About Kathleen Kaska

I’m a Texas gal. Except for an eighteen-month hiatus living in New York City after college, I lived in the Lone Star State continuously for fifty years. Since then Texas has been hit and miss—a little hit, but a heck of a lot of miss. There was a time when I thought I would happily die in Austin, Texas. But circumstances and weather—especially weather—changed that. Now I spend most of the year on Fidalgo Island in Washington State with a view of the bay and the mountains. When I get homesick, my husband and I listen to Willie Nelson. Soon we are dancing the two-step, imagining we are at our favorite honky-tonk in Tokyo, Texas where the mayor is believed to be a dog. Who wouldn’t miss that?

I write the awarding-winning mystery series: the Sydney Lockhart Mystery Series set in the 1950s and the Classic Triviography Mystery Series, which includes The Sherlock Holmes Quiz Book, which was updated and released by Lyons Press on November 1, 2020. My Kate Caraway animal-rights mystery series includes Run Dog Run (2017) and A Two Horse Town (2019). Eagle Crossing is scheduled for release in 2021. On my website, you can also find my Five-Minute Writing Tips and blog posts about publishing, marketing, birding, and quirky things that come to mind.