Do You Have What It Takes to be a Cheese Whiz? Archaic Words

By Kathleen Kaska 

When I worked at Cave Art Press, a small publishing company in Anacortes, one of my tasks was to write the weekly blog posts. It had to address writing styles, grammar and punctuation rules, and the down and dirty of publishing and marketing—and it had to be funny. These blog posts eventually became a tongue-in-cheek book entitled, "Do You Have a Catharsis Handy? Five Minute-Writer Tips." Here's one about archaic words and my own take on them.

Thanks to Google, I stumble upon many of my Writing Tips topics by accident. Here are some archaic (did they ever really exist?) but entertaining words and phrases that I discovered while I was researching other topics, along with some neologisms of my own:

With Squirrel: If you were a woman who lived in the Ozarks many moons ago and you found yourself “with squirrel,” then you were expecting a child. (Vance Randolph’s Down in the Holler: A Gallery of Ozark Folk Speech, 1953). I would call such a woman Squirrely.

Lunting: I suspect that Sherlock Holmes was into lunting—i.e., walking while smoking a pipe. (John Mactaggart’s Scottish Gallovidian Encyclopedia, 1824). I would call people who do this lunters.

The following are from The Word Museum: The Most Remarkable English Words Ever Forgotten, by Jeffrey Kacirk:

Spermologer: It doesn’t mean what you think. A spermologer is a columnist! Three of my favorites are Father Ron Rolheiser; Austin native, John Kelso; and funny-lady, Lisa Scottoline. In my world I’d refer to them as wittyosophers.

Queerplungers: An English term for a scam in which an individual jumped into water, was “rescued” by accomplices, and was subsequently taken in by rehab houses that cared for people who tried to commit suicide. In the benevolent society of the time, the rescuers were rewarded with a guinea each, while the person who “attempted suicide” was sent away with a monetary donation to make his life less depressing. Maybe a better word for these folks would be Scam Dunkers. 

Finally, my favorite:

Tyromancy: If you can’t find a crystal ball, use cheese! One of my Cave Art Press colleagues thought tyromancy sounds like “a Jurassic love story.” In fact, it is the act of predicting birth, love, and death by reading the appearance of a piece of cheese. It is also the act of using cheese to answer questions: the most obvious answers to a question are written on pieces of cheese (one answer per piece). The pieces of cheese are fed to a rat. Whichever piece is eaten first is the answer to the question.

I suspect a person who engaged in this method of prediction and became notable would have been called a tyromaniac. I would call him a cheez-whiz. 

This is my last post as a member of the Stiletto Gang, but I will stay in touch and follow you wonderfully, creative authors. 

Best always,

Kathleen

Kathleen is a Texas gal. Except for an eighteen-month hiatus living in New York City after college, she continuously lived in the Lone Star State for fifty years. Since then, Texas has been hit and miss—a little hit, but a hell of a lot of miss. There was a time when she thought she would happily die in Austin, Texas. But circumstances and weather—especially weather—changed that. Now she spends most of the year on Fidalgo Island in Washington State with a view of the bay and the mountains. When she gets homesick, she and her husband plug in the iPhone to Willie—as in Nelson. Soon they are dancing the two-step, imagining they are at our favorite honky-tonk in Tokio, Texas, where the mayor is believed to be a dog. Who wouldn't miss that?

Kathleen writes mysteries. She blogs about writing, publishing, marketing, animal rights, birding, and quirky things that come to mind. Go to her website: Kathleen Kaska and check out her latest blog series, "Growing Up Catholic in a Small Texas Town."

Holiday Traditions – Time for a Change

Holiday Traditions - Time for a Change

By Cathy Perkins

Clicking out Heels is also changing. Rather than our group’s question and answer posts for First Wednesday, we’ll focus on a peek behind the scene element. Barbara Plum kicks it off for us in January. Can’t wait to see what she shares!

Sometimes change is good. Doing the same things over and over can provide continuity and a sense of tradition, but they can also become stale and lose their original meaning.

Holiday traditions are changing in our family. Our children are grown, married, and starting their own families. While certain foods are still ensconced on the holiday table, this year, the family will gather around one of our children’s table. Added bonus? I don’t have to cook!

Because I’m not the hostess this year, rather than spending hours preparing, my husband and I took off for a working vacation in Hawaii. The vacation part? With warm sunshine, vibrant foliage and a blue ocean for inspiration, we had a wonderful time, hiking and snorkeling. 

While my husband played golf, I drew on that inspiring scene and finished Calling for the Money, the next book in the Holly Price mystery series. Now that we’re home again, initial comments are returning from my beta readers. The good news is they like it. Even better, they had a couple of great suggestions that I’ll work in before sending the manuscript to my editor.

What about you?

Are there certain traditions that endure with your family? Or are you making changes as well? 

An award-winning author of financial mysteries, Cathy Perkins writes twisting dark suspense and light amateur sleuth stories.  When not writing, she battles with the beavers over the pond height or heads out on another travel adventure. She lives in Washington with her husband, children, several dogs and the resident deer herd.  Visit her at http://cperkinswrites.com or on Facebook 

Sign up for her new release announcement newsletter in either place.

She's hard at work on sequel to The Body in the Beaver Pond, which was recently presented with the Claymore Award.

Follow Your Bliss

By Cathy Perkins 

“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you
where there were only walls.” Joseph Campbell

I’ve been trying to finish an amateur sleuth mystery (the next Holly Price story) but another story keeps nagging at me. It’s one I’ve picked up and put down about a dozen times; changed the focus; the motivation; everything except the central characters and the theme.

I’m not sure why that book keeps pulling me back. Maybe it comes from the idea that each one of us has something special to contribute—maybe work we feel compelled to do. By doing it, we feel fulfilled and enrich the world. Joseph Campbell talks about finding your own path (“If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it's not your path. Your own path you make with every step you take. That's why it's your path.”). 

How do you find that path? Some refer to it as following your bliss. Others say, find your heart’s passion.

But is that passion the broader goal or a kernel that embodies it?

For many of us on this blog, our passion is writing. Taking intuitions, snippets, dreams and moments of pure fantasy imagination. Adding overheard conversations, glimpses of a vignette as we pass by. Grabbing that nebulous possibility, and shaping and turning into a polished story. Is writing the passion we want to share with the world? Or is it a particular theme or story that we feel we have to tell to reach that bliss?

I really have no idea, so I keep putting one foot in front of the other and step-by-step find my path.

Right now, that path is strolling along with a forensic accountant who's trying to find her own path through life... You might hear a bit more about her later. But as much fun as the amateur sleuth story is to write, that other story is still there, a siren song.

Even if we take the steps to become an author, maybe we chose a certain path because we fear the stories we want to write won’t sell. We love chic lit or romantic mysteries or literary stories where the characters rule and the words flow to a different rhythm, but we read online, hear from editors, agents, creative writing texts that D, all the above are passé. We’re tempted to follow trends rather than listen to the story inside us. I think most of us have cleared that hurdle, but the doubt is always there--should I have chosen a different path? 

Overall, I'm happy with my path to "here." Sure, there have been highs and lows, joys and regrets. I'm happy our paths crossed, here on the blog, at various publishers, conferences, or any of the other places we've connected. I hope my passion for writing lives on and that I can share my joy and make a small corner of the worlds a better place. 

And in the meanwhile, I think my other story is still growing—or growing up—quietly evolving in my subconscious. I have many books still to write.

But I suspect “that story” will one day be the one I have to tell.

What about you?

 “As you go the way of life,

You will see a great chasm. Jump.

It is not as wide as you think.” 

― Joseph Campbell

An award-winning author of financial mysteries, Cathy Perkins writes twisting dark suspense and light amateur sleuth stories.  When not writing, she battles with the beavers over the pond height or heads out on another travel adventure. She lives in Washington with her husband, children, several dogs and the resident deer herd.  Visit her at http://cperkinswrites.com or on Facebook 

Sign up for her new release announcement newsletter in either place.

She's hard at work on sequel to The Body in the Beaver Pond, which was recently presented with the Claymore Award. 

Making Hay

By Cathy Perkins

[Cathy is traveling with internet problems, so we're featuring a past post of hers today.]

It's hay making season in our mountain valley. The process is interesting, even if it does play havoc with my husband's allergies. One of the things that surprised me, though, was the parallels I saw between making hay and writing. 

Stay with me. 

Let's look at the hay process first. There are three basic requirements for growing hay: land, water and sun. Lots of each one. Once the grass reaches the right stage—tall, but not gone to seed—the ranchers start watching the weather even closer than they usually do. Hoping the forecast holds, they cut the grass in wide swathes and let it dry. 

Over the next few days, the ranchers fluff—okay, the technical term is swath—the hay so it dries evenly. Once the hay is dry, they can bail it into bricks that litter the field at regular intervals. 

This year's first cutting looked terrific and the initial bids from Japan were $300/ton. The earliest cutters started bailing and there was happiness in the valley. 

Then the unexpected happened. A storm boiled over the Cascades and drenched the valley. All the grass still on the ground went from being prime hay to cattle feed—not even dairy cow feed—at a price that will barely cover the expense of bailing it. 

As soon as the sun reappeared and dried things out, the ranchers fluffed what was there and prepared to get it out of the field and make way for the next crop. 

There are other ways things can go wrong. Balers break and things get stuck. Weeds invade from untended land. But the men and women who ranch for a living keep going, raising hay for their horses and other people's cows. 

So how is any of that like writing? 

Well, you start with three basic ingredients to create a story: writer, imagination and paper—lots of each one. The author nurtures the story to The End and fluffs and cuts and edits, hoping for that premium bid for the manuscript. But things outside the author's control can ruin that venture. A decision somewhere else that Steampunk/Chick Lit/Romantic Suspense/Whatever is “dead” means that particular manuscript isn't going anywhere except a closest or thumb drive. (Hmm... considering indie-pubbing yet?) 

Like a bale in the baler, words can get stuck. It's much harder to find a repair person for a broken or missing muse than a clogged machine. 

Like the rancher, the writer keeps putting words on the page, creating stories, because that's what writers do. 

 Can you think of any other parallels?

An award-winning author of financial mysteries, Cathy Perkins writes twisting dark suspense and light amateur sleuth stories.  When not writing, she battles with the beavers over the pond height or heads out on another travel adventure. She lives in Washington with her husband, children, several dogs and the resident deer herd.

Her latest release is In It For The Money, book 4 in the Holly Price mystery series. 
To celebrate, So About the Money, book 1 in the series is currently on sale for 99 cents! 

Winging It

by J.M. Phillippe

Earlier this month, fellow Stiletto Gang author Bethany Maines posted a great blog about how she organizes her novels using spreadsheets and graphs -- all online! I was super impressed. And then intimidated. Because my organization of a novel looks a lot more like this:

Sometimes I can't even read my own writing.

 I don't even remember to put all my notes about the same story in the same notebook.

I do start out trying to be super organized. I spend a lot of time procrastinating...er...pre-writing by creating elaborate systems and files that some part of me knows I will never maintain. I understand that that the more up-front work I do, the less back-end work I'll have to do. And yet, inevitably, at some point during a writing project I find myself digging through various notebooks and poorly named Word files, trying to find that one piece of information I need to complete whatever section I'm working on. I have to scan first drafts specifically for continuity errors (like the spelling of a name), and if it wasn't for eagle-eyed readers and editors, I'd miss small changes I made in even basic descriptions (did that room have a brown leather chair or a burgundy leather chair?).

Vader is not impressed with me.

I also only ever make it half-way through a novel outline before the drafting process takes over, and characters and plots move in totally different directions. It's a little bit because I find outlines kind of boring, and a little bit more that if I get too detailed and figure out how it will all end, I lose interest. Generally, I never start with more than a vague sense of where I want to end up, and I find drafting it out so much more satisfying. And yet I know that an outline would probably make the entire process a lot less messy -- and faster -- if maybe not as spontaneous.

Of course, come revision time, I then I have to backtrack and do all the work that I maybe shoulda coulda woulda done in the pre-writing process. I create a reverse outline of my chapters and sections. I make a style sheet and finally decide on a single spelling of a name (the search and replace feature in Word is very much my friend). Changes are always intentionally planned. I invest heavily in the revision process, and the story can change dramatically from draft to draft.

In many ways, starting off by winging it and then going back and organizing what I've written lets me discover the story in two different ways -- as I write it, and after I go back and read what I've written. That process of discovery keeps me interested in the story, even if it is very labor intensive.

Still, I can't help but look at the ways other writers organize themselves and wistfully daydream about my own set of spread sheets and graphs. Sometimes though, I'd settle for remembering exactly where I put that really great breakdown of the third act I thought of while on the bus two months ago. All I have to do is figure out what notebook I had with me that day...

***

J.M. Phillippe is the author of Perfect Likeness. She has lived in the deserts of California, the suburbs of Seattle, and the mad rush of New York City.  She worked as a freelance journalist before earning a masters’ in social work.  She works as a family therapist in Brooklyn, New York and spends her free-time decorating her tiny apartment to her cat Oscar Wilde’s liking, drinking cider at her favorite British-style pub, and training to be the next Karate Kid, one wax-on at a time.