When was the last time you wrote a letter or received one?
With texting, tweeting, emailing, and Facebook messaging available as popular (and expedient) forms of communication, people rarely write letters nowadays. Why bother, you might ask? I just order the book, Chickens, Gin, and a Maine Friendship: The Correspondence of E. B. White and Edmund Ware Smith. When I saw E. B. White on the cover, I ordered it immediately. I love his writing. I didn’t pay attention to the subtitle, so I was surprised to see that it was a collection of letters between two friends. I haven’t read the book yet; I’m savoring it for a vacation when I don’t have to focus on a bazillion other things. But it got me thinking.
I’m fortunate to have a friend who still prefers to communicate this old-fashioned way. We met several years ago when I interviewed her for a book I was writing about her father. Although she uses email, she does so mainly for business. She and I chat on the phone, but we also write letters to one another. I have kept every letter she has written me, as well as copies of those I’ve written to her.Beyond my correspondence with my letter-writing friend, I write a Christmas letter to my family, though not every year. I write letters to my young great-niece and nephews, since they live in Texas and I’m in Washington State. I don’t want them to forget about me.
I think the reason letter writing is rare is that it takes time and effort.
Getting started is especially hard. I could begin with a comment on the
weather, how I’m feeling, or what I’ve been up to, but those topics seem humdrum.
What helps me get past “Dear Stephanie,” is a reminder to start with a quirky
thought that’s been brewing in my brain—something like why
I choose to have two
olives with my martini on one night and three on another. After that first
paragraph is written, I’m off and running with three or four pages pounded out
in a few minutes.
Electronic communication fosters little forethought as to what to say, or how to say it. “I have a question; here it is.” Or, “I have some information you need; read this quickly.” I also find that if I send an email with too many questions, most of them go unanswered. Sadly no one seems to read lengthy emails. I even had a publisher who consistently ignored most of what I asked. I soon learned to ask just one question per email.
Letter writing, on the other hand, takes thought, creativity, and consideration for the recipients of the letters. You don’t want to bore them to death with mundane information. You want to make them laugh and understand what’s really going on in your head and your life.
I look back on the first letters I wrote to my friend; most contained questions about her father’s activities. But after my book was published The Man Who Saved the Whooping Crane: The Robert Porter Allen Story University Press of Florida, 2012) we began communicating on a more personal level, and a true friendship developed. I enjoy reading her letters, being able to hold them, stick them in my purse, and reread them. I know she’s put time and effort into her letters to me—and that makes me feel special. I hope she feels the same way when she receives one of mine.
I’m not sure what I will eventually do with all our correspondence, but I’m glad to have it. My friend lives across the country, so I rarely see her. Our letters keep us close.
Do you know of other similar books that are collections of letters?
Kathleen Kaska is the author of The Sherlock Holmes Quiz Book (Rowman & Littlefield Publishing Group). She is the founder of The Dogs in the Nighttime: Holmes Society of Anacortes, Washington, a scion of The Baker Street Irregulars. Kathleen writes the awarding-winning Sydney Lockhart Mystery Series and the Kate Caraway Mystery Series. Her passion for birds led to the publication The Man Who Saved the Whooping Crane: The Robert Porter Allen Story. Kathleen’s collection of blog posts, Do You Have a Catharsis Handy? Five-Minute Writing Tips won the Chanticleer International Book Award in the non-fiction Instruction and Insights category.
Go to her website and sign up for her newsletter. Look for her bi-monthly blog: “Growing Up Catholic in a Small Texas Town” because sometimes you just have to laugh.
https://twitter.com/KKaskaAuthor
http://www.facebook.com/kathleenkaska
I love old fashioned letter writing, but I admit that most of the time what used to be a regular past-time for me is limited to my annual holiday letter. Others tell me they look forward to receiving it, as I do theirs. Sad, isn't it. There are several fictional books of letters - Guernsey Pie, 84 Charing Rd (may have the title wrong) and its follow-up book, as well as a romance one that come to mind.
ReplyDeleteHi Debra, I've read Guernsey Pie; great book. I'll check out Charing Rd.
DeleteWhat a great topic for a blogpost! I have nostalgia for the days of letter-writing, too. I actually have a letter from Agatha Christie's secretary, telling me Dame Agatha would love to meet with me, but her failing health won't permit it. I have saved that and other significant letters, and I cherish them and the handwriting that produced them. One famous letter-writer was Gertrude Stein. Her letters to Alice B. Toklas and also to Carl Van Vechten have been published in different volumes. While I appreciate the many ways technology has improved our lives, I do miss the meaningful communication afforded by old-fashioned letters.
ReplyDeleteSaralyn, You'll have to show me Agatha's letter next time I'm in Galveston. What a prize that is! I still have a fan letter that was written to me by a housekeeper at the Arlington Hotel, the setting of Murder at the Arlington. I should probably have it framed!
DeleteThere's something so personal about putting pen to paper. It allows thoughts to flow from one correspondent to another. Alas, nowadays people want things instantly and brief. Sadly, this does not allow for a meaningful discourse on whatever topic comes to mind. Letter writing forces one's mind to formulate ideas and therefore grow.
ReplyDeleteI hope my great niece and nephew will be inspired; we'll see.
DeleteI adore the blogpost, Kathleen. Just as cursive is a lost art, so too is letter writing. You had me at E.B. White. Also, I see that you are a metaphor coach? Did I read that correctly? Must check out The Man Who Save the Whooping Crane. All best.
ReplyDeleteHi Donnell, Thanks for your kind words. I try to write in cursive just so I don't forget how, but sometimes I can't read my own writing because I'm writing too fast. Yes, I am a writing coach. My business is called: Metaphor Writing Coach. www.metaphorwritingcoach.com I love teaching as much as I lover writing.
DeleteThanks for reminding us how emotionally satisfying letter writing can be, Kathleen. Reading letters from long ago is also an underrated pleasure, especially when they are from people long gone or ancestors we never knew. As for my favorite book of letters, I cherish "Dear Theo," a compilation of Vincent van Gogh's letters to his brother. While they are often sad reminders of his fate, his beautiful soul shines through.
ReplyDeleteSo, true, Gay. I believe people pour out their hearts when writing letters. I'll check out "Dear Theo."
ReplyDeleteKathleen - this post has stirred memories of letter writing when I was oh so much younger! Thank you!
ReplyDeleteKathleen, you've struck a nerve. I feel for all the young people who will never receive a love letter - how I cherished those from the young man who became my husband. I have a wonderful book called Letters of Note that has scores of letters exchanged by famous authors, politicians, and other figures. Well worth a look.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great topic! I love letter writing, but confess I do little of it anymore. Just my annual Christmas letter - which some years has been a New Year's letter. I do love books that are collections of letters and will check out some of those mentioned.
ReplyDeleteGreat post! My best friend and I started writing letters when I lived further away. I'm only 40 mins away now but we still write each other. Our lives get so busy that we sometimes forget everything we wish to say when we see each other or call so this helps us to make up the gaps when we can't spend all day together. I think it's so sweet about the Christmas letters. I should do that for my family. I think my Mammie would enjoy that.
ReplyDeleteI love letter-writing - through email. I find it too time-consuming to write it out by hand nowadays with a busy life. At the moment, I'm corresponding with a pen pal in France and a romantic partner in the UK, so my letter-writing skills are being challenged and hopefully improving. As a teenager, I had a friend from primary school who wrote to me on a regular basis. I loved her letters. Sadly, we grew apart eventually and our friendship died, but it was such a delight to correspond with her for years.
ReplyDeleteIt's definitely a partly lost art which I hope more people take up. If you're keen on adult pen pals, www.interpals.net is a great spot to find them. You have to feed out the chancers though.