OK—so we’ve got all of the basics covered: the sweet potatoes, the green bean casserole, the turkey, the stuffing…there’s nothing left for me to contribute. So, because being together for Thanksgiving can be fraught (and is there a better word to describe being with one’s family answering questions like “how could you have voted for HIM?” or “how much of your savings do you have in stocks EXACTLY?” or even “when do you think SHE is going to have a baby?” and the worst of all “why are you STILL single?”), I’m going to simplify things. Here’s what I can contribute: the good old pumpkin pie recipe.
Take one can of pumpkin pie mix.
Add two eggs.
Add one 5-oz can of condensed milk.
Mix together. Throw in a prepared pie shell. Bake until done. Don’t tell anyone that you didn’t make it from complete scratch. Opening the cans DOES count.
And if that doesn’t make you feel better or help with the family dynamics, here’s my favorite cosmopolitan recipe:
4 parts any kind of vodka
2 parts Triple Sec
2 parts cranberry juice (great for urinary tract health!)
1 part fresh lime juice
Eat all of the pumpkin pie. Wash down with a cosmopolitan (or three). Happy Thanksgiving!