Wednesday, March 16, 2022

The Year of the Tiger

 by Barbara J. Eikmeier

2022 is the year of the tiger. As images of Lunar New Year celebrations scrolled across social media, I remembered that my son was born in the year of the tiger. Immediately I knew, with a little shock, that he will be 36 this year.  It’s not that I always know the current ages of my adult children off the top of my head. It’s because of the tiger. 

While living In South Korea, a culture where respect to elders is expressed with a more formal form of language, I noticed a Korean national’s need to establish who is older when meeting someone for the first time. With different generations it may be obvious who is the elder but when ages are closer it can be awkward since it’s also considered rude to ask someone their age.  If only there was a 12-year age span tool to help narrow the gap. Enter the Chinese zodiac.

My Korean language tutor, Kang Ok, thought it was amusing that Americans, when describing a person, would always tell hair and eye color and approximate age, such as “He’s in his late 30s.” She admitted she had a hard time telling a westerner’s age and she taught me a trick to determine an age span.

Kang Ok demonstrated by saying, “I was born in the year of the dragon.”

I immediately replied, “I’m the year of the pig,” (according to the red paper placemat at every Chinese restaurant in America.)

It was exactly what she was expecting me to say. Kang Ok, because she’s Korean and has the order of the twelve Chinese Zodiac animals memorized, knew that I was either five years or (add 12) 17 years older than her. So, although she was my teacher, which implies I use the more formal language when addressing her, I was her elder, requiring her form of language to change as well. 

Kang Ok, went on to tell me that Koreans think females born in the year of the dragon are strong willed. She added, “But I was born during daylight hours so it’s not as bad!”

Once I was on to the secret, I tried it with other Korean friends. In the process I learned that when Kang Ok told me she was the year of the dragon – the same as my daughter Sarah, I could immediately know that Kang Ok was at least 12 years older than Sarah. It just so happened it was the year of the dragon at the time. My daughter was 12. Now I knew, without asking, that Kang Ok was 24 years old.

It's been 20+ years since I’ve lived in Korea. I’m back to just asking a person their age. I thought about my writing where I may flat out say, ‘he was 30 years old’, which works just fine, but if my characters have different cultural experiences, maybe I needn’t be so blunt. The dialog could be as simple as when Kang Ok tested me with: “I was born in the year of the dragon.” To which a Korean might reply with raised eyebrows, “Dragon Lady? I’m the pig.” To which Kang Ok would laugh and say, “Don’t worry, I was born during the day.” As the characters part ways, Kang Ok, could think, for example, “He’s too old. He wouldn’t have been a student there at the time of the murder.” You never have to say his age. But Kang Ok knows his age and has eliminated him as a suspect.

What else can you extract from the Chinese Zodiac placemat to use in your character development?   A dragon lady has great potential to be a strong female character, but you might find other traits, compatibilities and opposites to work into your writing. So, if you don't spill the egg drop soup or lose noodles from your chopsticks you can save that paper placemat for your writing folder!

As for me, I’m off to think up the perfect Year of the Tiger gift for my son.

Barbara J. Eikmeier lived in Seoul, South Korea for two years. She is a quilter, writer, student of quilt history, and lover of small-town America. Raised on a dairy farm in California, she enjoys placing her characters in rural communities.


 

15 comments:

  1. I enjoyed your blog very much! I've always been fascinated by the Chinese Zodiac.

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    1. Thank you! One of my Korean translators told me there is a story about the order of the animals. I need to look that up!

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  2. Oh my goodness, love love love the Korean's respect for elders and how you determine your son's age. I believe my son was born in the year of the tiger, too! Fascinating, educational blog, Barbara! Well done.

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    1. Thank you! I agree about the respect for elders. It was considered polite to give up your seat on the subway for an elder but every time I tried they wouldn't take it because it is also considered polite to give up your seat to a foreigner.

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  3. Fascinating information, Barb! Now, if we ever get back to eating at a Chinese restaurant, rather than only doing take-out, I'll have to take a closer look at the paper menu.

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    1. Thank you Lois! Maybe your favorite local place will include a placemat with your next order!

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  4. Great post, Barb. I lived in South Korea, too, for a year. I taught English in Seoul. I loved it. The Chinese Zodiac is fascinating.

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    1. Thank you Lynn. I lived there from Jul 1999 to Jul 2001. When were you there? I had many American friends on the Army post who taught ESL. And a few of their kids, as native English speakers, got real jobs recording lessons used in Korean elementary schools. We were there for two years and I had some amazing experiences.

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    2. That's great! I was from 2003-2004. I can't believe it's been almost 20 years! I'd like to bring my kids back there some day to show them around. I was invited onto the base by a friend's boyfriend. It was like a whole city there, so neat!

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  5. So interesting, Barb. Having never ventured beyond the descriptions on a restaurant's paper placemat, I really enjoyed learning more about the Chinese Zodiac. Now I think I know why one should take care when dealing with a Dragon Lady!

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    1. Thank you Gay! Yes, the dragon lady is worth special consideration! I speak as the mother of one! (But she was born at 10 AM!)

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  6. I need a copy of the menu!!!!!! (want to share a bigger picture?) I also have a son and daughter born in the year of the Tiger. Great post.

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    1. Debra, so I'm curious, are your son and daughter twins? Or are they 12 years apart in age? Or they could overlap since the calendar year changes in Jan but the Chinese calendar changes with Lunar New Year. (One of the finer details of the Chinese Zodiac!)
      I found many images of Chinese restaurant placemats via google images. And I discovered that I could order them in a package of 1000 if I wanted!

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  7. I'd love to know more about Korea and your experiences there.

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  8. Saralyn, I lived in Seoul for two years from 1999 - 2001 while my husband had an Army assignment at Yongsan Army Base. The first day I was there two other army wives, who I knew from a previous assignment, called me and said they were picking me up in an hour so and get my butt out of bed and get dressed. They took me off post and taught me how to use the subway my first day in country. I wasn't even over the jet lag and I, a girl from the farm, was out buying a subway pass and learning to navigate Seoul, a city of 14 million people. I was terrified but also a little amazed by the fact that I was doing it. I knew many military spouses who never left the military installation in two years but because of my friends I got off post on Day One and as a result had a very rich two year experience. I have written several memoir stories of my time there and will share more about Seoul over time on this blog.

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