In the Blink of an Eye
By Laura Bradford
At this time last year, I was reading fellow Stiletto Gang member, Maggie Barbieri's posts about the emotions that were kicking in as she watched her daughter's high school years draw to a close.
Now, here I am, going through the same thing as Dear Daughter # 1 approaches the last five weeks before she walks across the stage to get her diploma.
It's all happening so fast now. First it was the round of "lasts"--last high school dance show, last high school musical, last high school choir concert (yes, my daughter leans toward the arts). Then the college paperwork and its assorted deadlines followed (roommate questionnaires, health forms, bills) along with prom dress shopping and the beginning stages of family graduation party prep. And all the while this is going on, I'm trying hard not to think too much because every time I do, the tears begin to build.
I can remember, so clearly, the moment I dropped DD # 1 off at kindergarten like it was yesterday. She'd never gone to preschool so that day, that moment, was truly a first. And it was hard, very hard. For five years I'd been the person who took care of her 24/7. I watched all her "firsts" to that moment, I taught her about manners and kindness, and we were together all the time. I remember holding DD # 2 (who was not quite two at the time) and hearing her begin to cry as we got Erin settled and...left. I spent those first few steps into the parking lot trying to soothe the baby (who couldn't understand why we were leaving her big sister in a strange place) all the while my own heart was breaking.
Did I cry? Of course. In the car, as I drove away...even knowing I'd be back to get her in less than four hours. But that was the first moment we'd separated and four hours seemed like an eternity.
Now, I'm mere months away from separating from her for weeks, and sometimes months, at a time. I know she'll do great, I know she'll be following her dreams, but still, it's hard.
Life really does go by in a blink of an eye.
~Laura
Well stated. I remember my daughter going off to college . . . cried every time she left to go back.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Pam. I have a feeling I'm going to go through a lot of tissues these next few months (and years).
DeleteIt is tough, Laura. Especially tough the first time and again with the youngest--and if your youngest is so much younger than your older kids that he's like a second family, triple that. But it's also wonderful once you get past those taking-leave years and have the chance to see your children building lives as adults. That was what you were working toward the whole time you raised them, and to see that come to fruition is mighty satisfying. You've got that joy of greeting your adult child ahead, too, along with the grief of saying good-bye to your baby.
ReplyDeleteBittersweet, Linda. I guess that's what this stage is called.
DeleteAnd you're right, it is nice to step back a little and think...so far, so good. :)