By Laura Bradford
It's 10:30 at night and I just realized I forgot to post this morning. I guess you could say my mind has been a bit of a jumbled mess the past few weeks as my first born wraps up her senior year of high school.
Her graduation is tomorrow and I already know I'm going to cry. It's gone so fast...each and every second of it. One day the two of us were looking into each other's eyes for the very first time...and the next, she's about to walk across the stage to receive her high school diploma. And then, in just about 8 weeks, I'll be dropping her off at college.
And leaving her there.
I'm not ready for this even though I know I have to be.
Tomorrow night, at her family graduation party, I'll be giving her a gift that has made me cry every time I've looked at it. It's a look back at her life thus far and the absolute joy she has brought me for the past 18 1/2 years.
I know I can't stop the hands of time. I know that there are many, many good times still to come--memories I will treasure twenty years from now like I treasure the ones I have right now. But somehow, I'm still sad. Because as much as I enjoyed every moment of our time together, I still wish I could go back and relive it all over again.
Thanks for listening.
Wish me luck tomorrow.
~Laura
The grief and nostalgia will settle down as you make it through the transition. Sometimes I think they like it that we're weepy about it, even though they pretend to be too grown-up for that, because this time is scary, as well as exciting, for them, and it's good to know Mom cares so very much.
ReplyDeleteThat makes sense, Linda.
DeleteLaura, you and your daughter do not need luck. You have a love for one another, that will cover many things. You have let her know you have joy in the fact she is your child. Again, that covers a great amount. You are both blessed to have one another. I am sure she knows that. And the future will hold more joy for both of you.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Annette. So much. That meant a lot.
DeleteYour post gave me chills! It's very true that you will one day look back on the times ahead and feel that same nostalgia but it doesn't take away that desire to relive the joy you've already lived. I get that way about a lot of things so I just have to be thankful that I have such joy to look back on. Wonderful story!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Kathy. I made it through the day...tears and all. I'm just so proud of her and also wish time would slow down a little.
DeleteYou and your daughter have something special and I wish you the best.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Dru!! We surely do!
ReplyDelete