Friday, August 19, 2011

I Will Survive Alien

What? you're muttering to yourself, that title makes no sense.  Ah, but it must to someone (or rather, a couple of someones) as it's one of the search phrases used to find The Stiletto Gang.  My best guess is that there's a post somewhere in the archives mentioning that classic disco tune, "I Will Survive."  Not so sure about the "alien" part.  Unless the searcher wants to know how he or she will survive an alien visit, or perhaps they're feeling feisty, like they want to tell the galaxy, "I will survive, alien!"  Okay, I give up.  Your guess is as good as mine.

Another search phrase that had me reminiscing was "hissing garter snake."  It brought back memories of several springs ago when I was cleaning leaves out of a window well by the patio.  A tiny garter snake reared its pinky-sized head to hiss at me.  Yes, I screamed, but then I took the dustpan, scooped it in, and flung it into the ivy.  Ah, good times.

How about this one:  "obese belly dancer."  Hmm.  I don't remember anyone writing a post on the subject.  Maybe I was on vacation (wait, I don't take vacations). 

A handful of curious people found Stiletto by looking for "caramelized hair color," which intrigues me.  I've always thought I'd love to have caramel-colored highlights in my tresses.  From the looks of things, I'm not the only one.

Then there's the seeker of "outdoor ground cover w/ 7 leaves and flowers."  Ah, how fortuitous that such a search led them here!  Because we're all about, um, ground cover.  And what ground cover is better than that with seven leaves and flowers?  Although if you need to know the right type of mulch to use, I'm guessing a blog about plants might have more answers.

And last but surely not least, there were over 30 interested parties seeking information about being "naked at the mall."  I do, in fact, recall writing a post called "Walking Naked at the Mall," after Maggie and I had a discussion about dreams that mean you're feeling vulnerable.  There were no photos of naked mall walkers inserted nor any physical descriptions, which I'll bet left most of those interested parties feeling a wee bit let down.  What this tells me is that using "naked" in your title will draw readers who normally wouldn't visit a book blog.  (I know, you're thinking, brilliant theory, Einstein.)

Now I'm wondering, what's the weirdest thing you've ever searched for online?  Or if you have a blog, what are the strangest search terms that have led someone to it?  Inquiring minds want to know!
P.S.  Little Black Dress is out next Tuesday, August 23...squeeeee!  You can pre-order online from booksellers and e-booksellers now!  Here's a helpful link.  Or you can Google "book with magic black dress" and see if that'll lead you to it.  Seek and ye shall find...something.


  1. Great post, Susan. I remember the caramel-colored highlights was Rhonda talking about her new highlights! How funny is that? I find Captchas very funny...someone on another site said that their Captcha for their comment was "teat" a word that never fails to give me the giggles. Maggie

  2. I cannot believe you wrote a post on this topic!! I wrote a post on this topic the other day!! Of course, I filed mine away for next week, which is going to make me look like I totally copied you! No fair, no fair, no fair!!

    OK, i'm done whining. Great post, much fun. I'm not sure about the parameters of good taste at the 'ole gang here, so I can't really devulge my favorite search terms, the tamest of which begins with exotic chats and ends with people who are searching to learn more about various acts of indecency. I must say, people are doing a lot of research on that topic these days. Must be the economy. On the other hand (well, i'm not really sure it's the other hand) I once mentioned the Kardashians in a blog post... apparently, I am forever bound to them when it comes to search terms!!

  3. Maggie, ah, so that's where the caramel highlights came from! I'm jealous that Rhonda has them. I can't even believe people are looking up "teats"--that is not the word I'd think they'd use at all (unless they're in Future Farmers of America and have a mama pig).

    Laura, I remember my husband saying that their work computers, like, shut down when anyone tries to look up "porn"--so for fun, they would search for, let's say, "flash drives that are not porn." I think they got scolded for that. I'm sure looking up anything Kardashian-related can lead to all sorts of strange sites and pages! It is funny what comes up when you look up the simplest things.

  4. Its strange to look at those things, isn't it? I used to get some pretty strange things that brought people into the Mysteries/Thrillers site when I ran it. As for strange searches I've done... well, wouldn't you like to know... :-)

    Actually, between searches I do for patrons at the library and searches I do on my writing computer at home, I probably would look pretty strange to anyone who cared to look. For one story alone, I searched "Harvesting geoducks," "Russian Orthodox Church icons," and "Shipwreck diving." I'm sure you can relate.

  5. Cathy, you had me at "harvesting geoducks"--what are geoducks? I might have to Google! ;-)


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