Monday, March 23, 2009

The Mating Game

Listening to son number three rant about the dating scene made me realize that even if it’s been a million years since I was unattached, first dates are still the pits.

A recent example.

He’d met an interesting woman who was a friend of a friend of a friend. They’d chatted by phone, exchanged a couple of emails, and agreed to meet for a drink. This generation – and I just aged myself by a hundred years, but at least I didn’t refer to them as the young un’s – don’t want to invest any real time or money in a first date. You meet in a public location, just for drinks or coffee so it’s a limited time frame, and if worse comes to worse, you check your Blackberry and announce that you have to go back to work because of an unexpected crisis. Who’s going to argue in this economy when work calls?

From what I understand, the meet and greet over beers went well, they shared a few laughs, discovered they both like films, and before the evening ended, agreed to go to a movie.

Danger, Will Robinson.

The movie you choose can mean the difference between marriage and a lonely life of celibacy.

Ever the gentleman (I raised him well), he permitted the young woman to choose the flick. Now, if I had been advising her, there are a couple of parameters I would have suggested in choosing a film for a first date.

1. Skip all Chick flicks.
We may all be able to recite verbatim numerous scenes from Steel Magnolias and have the soggy tissues to show for it, but if the movie has the girl dying for love, it’s a pass for a first or even fifth date.

2. Pass on any movie with subtitles.
Sure there are lots of fabulous films made in Japan, Italy, France – but at this point, you’d like subtitles for what your date really means when he says, “I’ll call you.”

3. Avoid at all costs any films that have an IMPORTANT message.
AKA, you’ll walk out depressed because life sucks and there’s no point in even hoping that there is a happy ending to, well, anything because men are pigs.

Here’s what happened. They met at 9:30 pm for a quick coffee and cupcake. So far, so good. Sure it’s late for me, but they’re young. The movie was at 10 and it was a World War II movie in a frozen tundra with Nazis – not a lot of laughs to say the least. In fact, not only did many of the good guys die in the film, but the epilogue then made clear that even those who survived suffered more tragedies in life.

As he pointed out, you're not supposed to end a first date thoroughly depressed. Since it was midnight and both had early meetings for work the next day, they parted within fifteen minutes -- never to meet again.

What the worst first date you ever had?

Evelyn David

P.S. We've been Kindle-d. Murder Off the Books is now available in Kindle format. Murder Takes the Cake will not be published in paperback until May, but is already available in Kindle format. TechnologyRUs!


  1. I've been out of the dating scene for a long time now too, thank God! And I met my husband when I was fairly young, so there weren't all that many "first dates."

    In fact, the only truly notorious date I had was when a friend I had just met was trying to fix me up without my knowledge. She and her fiance had me over for dinner and, unbeknownst to me, she had invited a "charming" young man to be my date for the evening.

    I was (and am) a fairly straightlaced person, and I was even more so back then when I was 18. So to be fixed up with a 26-year old who smelled like pot... Not exactly what I was looking for. And somehow when he began bragging that he was a bookie and that he knew Pete Rose... I wasn't exactly inspired to bring him home to Momma.

    And needless to say, my friendship with new-found friend came to a grinding halt!

  2. Since I married the cute sailor I met on a blind date--I can't say I know much about the dating game.

    My granddaughter's beau announced in church Sunday that after two year of going steady, they are now engaged. Since they both graduated from high school last year, they aren't going to be able to report on the dating game either.

    Juan fell in love with Jessica when they were freshman--it took Jessica much longer to value Juan's attributes, though she did go with him to all the special dances.

    As grandma, I can honestly say they've both made a perfect choice. Wedding not to come for another year. Juan is going to be a highway patrolman--both are in college right now.

    Proud grandma, Marilyn

  3. Congratulations Grandma Marilyn.


  4. Kris -
    That's a very funny first (and last!)date story. Thanks for stopping by The Stiletto Gang.

    Evelyn David