How Do You Feel About Emojis?

by Gay Yellen

Once upon a time, I had a comfortably introverted life. That all changed in 2014, when my first book came out, and my publisher urged me to join the rest of the world on Facebook, Twitter, and other social platforms.

Facebook

At first, it was tough to emerge from my cocoon, but little by little, I was posting like a pro. I came to feel pretty comfortable about it, too, until last year, when I read an article in The Wall Street Journal about the generation gap in how people interpret what the little emoticons mean.

Take the smiley face, for example. People over the age of thirty generally use it to express happiness, or to indicate a positive response, like saying "good job!" Or perhaps, "I'm happy for you." But you might be dismayed to know that twenty-somethings and teens find it patronizing, and if they use it at all, they deploy it sarcastically.

The skull and crossbones icon has also been reinterpreted by the younger set. Instead of pointing to danger, they use it to show that they are laughing so hard, they're dying. And the frowny face? For most people, it's a sign of disapproval or frustration. But for the younger set? They are more likely to be pining for the unobtainable object of their affection.

Since reading the WSJ article, I second-guess myself almost every time I reply to a post. Does my response feel genuine to the person receiving the message? Or does it come across as ironic when it's meant to be sincere?

And what to make of the pile of Poop emoji, especially if it's smiling? Even after consulting the internet for the answer, I'm not really sure, although I did learn that, in 2015, it was the most popular emoji in Canada, while the Eggplant reigned supreme in the States. Excrement and sexual innuendo. Lovely.

Thank goodness there's one icon whose meaning we all seem to agree on. We still feel good when the universal symbol for love is delivered to us, although it may help to know that various heart configurations and colors connote different degrees and types of affection. These days, younger people prefer to use the word "fire" and its icon to indicate their strong positive feelings, especially when the response is to a "hot" person or idea. Heart-hands are gaining on in popularity, too.

If you're concerned that people may misread your intentions when you use emojis, you could try consulting emojipedia.com or a few emoji bloggers for an answer. Be warned, however, that you might end up even more confused.

As for me, I'm thinking the safest bet it to revert to an old standby that has worked to express our true feelings for centuries: words.

Readers, how do you feel about emojis?

Gay Yellen writes the award-winning

Samantha Newman Mysteries including

The Body Business,

The Body Next Door

(available on Amazon)

Coming soon,

The Body in the News

New Things

by Bethany Maines

Yesterday was the first day of Kindergarten for my daughter.  She looked a little bit nervous, but mostly seemed to be taking it in stride. Many of the other parents weren’t.  Someone kindly went around and passed out tissues.  My husband and I made it through without tears, but we did feel a bit glum about our baby not being a baby anymore.  And like many events that are symbolic markers of something new, even when we poo-poo it as “just another day,” there is still the sense that it is the time to begin a project and shake up the routine.

Toward that end, I took a stab at cleaning my office.  It was a very small stab.  Sort of a paring knife kind of stab rather than a meat cleaver, but efforts were made.  Then I started a new short story because, let’s face it, I’ll do anything to avoid cleaning my office.  This one I think will be a reverse Miss Marple (the old lady is the killer).  We’ll have to see how it turns out.  I also started a Facebook Group called the Reader B's.  Facebook groups add greater interaction and flexibility than pages, making them more equivalent to conversations.  If you would like to belong to a group dedicated to readers and authors, please do join.  I’ll have posts about books, book reviews, posts from other authors and discussions about all of my books and short stories.

The Reader B's: https://www.facebook.com/groups/374780216776919/

UPDATE:

My next novel, The Second Shot, is releasing October 24 and is now a finalist in the Pacific Northwest Literary Contest.  If you have a netgalley account and want to read a great new book for #free, check out this blogger/reader sign-up!  Don’t want to be officially a part of the excitement, but want to keep tabs on all the news? Add The Second Shot to your Goodreads list or pre-order for iBooks today.

💌 Sign up today: http://bit.ly/ReleasePromotionTheSecondShot

📚 Add to Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/46837067-the-second-shot

➡️ Pre-Order: Apple Books: https://apple.co/32sL3vV

***

Bethany Maines is the award-winning author of the Carrie Mae Mystery Series, San Juan Islands Mysteries, Shark Santoyo Crime Series, and numerous short stories. When she's not traveling to exotic lands, or kicking some serious butt with her black belt in karate, she can be found chasing her daughter or glued to the computer working on her next novel. You can also catch up with her on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and BookBub.

Blogs, Facebook, Twitter and All Things Social Media

By AB Plum

Thanks to the wonders of technology, I can write this blog a week ahead of its due date, schedule it, and take off tomorrow for a fun-and-frolic vacation in San Francisco. 

I’m writing the day before the Comey Testimony. (I capitalize testimony b/c it’s almost as if Mr. Comey's appearance is a TV program or movie or book title).

I am also writing before President Trump tweets about the upcoming testimony or during the testimony itself.

Either the testimony or tweet content could provide enough commentary for dozens of riveting blogs. But. I’m going to take advantage of the scheduling feature on this blog and leave posting the excitement/amazement/disgust/disbelief/etc. following the event to others to wax on about.

I am going to SF without my laptop or any other handheld devices. Except for one. Because I have kids (adults, true) in other cities and a friend watching over the home front, the need to take my cell phone will win out. But … no calling or tweeting or texting except in an emergency.

Admittedly, sending a picture of the Golden Gate Bridge will be tempting, but I hope to resist. My grown kids have walked across the span many times. Some of my relatives, like my house sitter, have never taken a single step on this engineering marvel. 

Here's my rationale: Even if I send my relatives or the house sitter a picture, they’ll probably all be too busy watching The Testimony. Or the analyses of The Testimony. Or the late-night panning of The Testimony. 

Whatever …. I’ll catch up when I return home. Until then, I’m about to retreat to Luddite Land.

How about you? When was the last time you “unhooked” from your electronic wonders? Do you remember a time when we didn’t text? Didn’t tweet? Didn’t share pictures of our vacations via Facebook?

******************

AB Plum lives off the fast lane in Silicon Valley, where she writes about mayhem and murder in her psychological suspense series, The MisFit. If she doesn't overstay her vacation, she plans a late summer release of The Lost Days and The In-Between Years, Books 2 and 3 in the series.

Where I Live Now—AKA What I’ve Learned on Facebook

By Kay Kendall

If you watched me go about my life these days, you would think you know where I live. You would say, why, that’s a snap to answer. She lives in Texas. Look, there’s her house on that Houston street. You can look her up on Google Maps.

Yet, strangely, you would only be partly right. In fact, only one-third correct in your answer—to be exact.

Sure, there’s my normal life and it’s lived in Houston. But to that you must add the year 1969. Living in that year makes up the second third of my life these days. That’s when my work-in-progress takes place, Rainy Day Women. I’ve been living in that world for more than a year now. Moreover, for two years prior, I was living in 1968—the year when my debut mystery is set, Desolation Row. Hence, I have been spending lots of time in the late 1960s for many years now. In fact, I’m going deeper and deeper into the detailed past the longer I write about the late sixties.

(I have a vivid imagination and a good head for detail. I’m surprised when people don’t remember things as I do. Some get downright anachronistic, wanting to put cell phones into a plot where they don’t belong. Boy oh boy, can technology change a story—or ruin it if it’s done incorrectly. But, I digress.)

The third and final piece of my life is now lived online. I’m a gregarious person and as my career as an author has solidified, I’m staying put in my writer’s lair more often than I used to. My husband and I are living a quiet life. So, to reach out to other people, I go to social media several times a day. The majority of that time is spent on Facebook.

Kay says CHEERS to Facebook!

Many of my Facebook friends are boomers, as I am. I can start up a thread on a hot topic from the 1960s or 1970s and watch folks chime in. Then they share my head space with me. I enjoy that a lot. This week’s subject has been what people remember about the Watergate saga. Some of the answers have fascinated me. One man had a neighbor who was one of the good guys attached to the Watergate investigation. Another woman worked for a polling firm in Washington DC that compiled data for the infamous Committee to Re-Elect the President (later nicknamed CREEP, no kidding). She recalled going to the airport to pick up documents and delivering them to the office of the special prosecutor for Watergate...and found it a fascinating time to live in the national’s capital. Since I’m a history buff, I would have loved that too, although I’m sure many would disagree.

The great crime writer Tim Hallinan began a thread on his Facebook page a few days ago that asked his friends to nominate their favorite rock albums. Well! You can imagine how cantankerous that got, with many responders irate that their faves didn’t win. My pick did not win—it was a Dylan album, naturally—Blonde on Blonde. I was not irate, however, since I won a free copy of one of Tim’s mysteries. Since the only other thing I’ve ever won in my life was a flashlight, I was thrilled beyond words.

On Facebook I’m drawn to historical detail, interesting trivia, and those silly BuzzFeed quizzes. On the most recent quizzes, I scored ten out of ten for world history, found out that the classic novel that best fits my personality is Pride and Prejudice, and was told that among Jungian archetypes I turn out to be the sage.

Two fascinating posts hooked my interest over the past week. First, one FB friend had discovered a parakeet in her backyard. She wasn’t able to find the owner but did turn up a neighbor who had also lost her parakeet. The neighbor agreed to take the bird, vowing to search for the real owner and if s/he wasn’t found, then she would adopt the lost bird. People commented on this, explaining similar situations. This was fun and interesting. Sadly, a second Facebook friend lamented that her sister who suffered from angina had died. The sister had forgotten to carry her nitroglycerine tablets. When she had an attack, no one could revive her. That true story devastated me.

I guess I’ve always lived in my head. As an only child, I read a lot, as many potential writers do. I just didn’t know that at the time. First it was horse stories and fairy tales, then Nancy Drew and Little Women, followed by the grand Jane Eyre. After that it was more and more classics. Someone told me I should read all the classic novels in order to be prepare for my SAT tests, and boy, did I go at it. At sixteen I was far too young to appreciate the finer points of Anna Karenina, but I could tell you the plot of it and dozens of other great novels.

Last summer I went back to Kansas for my high school reunion. Along with a few dear, long-time friends I trotted around our old high school building and reminisced. Pal Nancy could tell each of us where our lockers had been and where our homerooms were. Most of us had no idea, although I was more clueless than most. I’m guessing I was lost in my head back then too. Nancy, however, must have been fully present in order to recall all that detail of her life in high school.  

Do you live in your head a lot, like me? Do you enjoy Facebook? Do you have another favorite among the social media types? Or do you loathe the whole scene?

That’s all I’ve got for now, my friends. I feel the comments on Facebook tugging at me. Excuse me while I succumb to their sirens’ song.

+++++++

 Kay Kendall set her debut novel, Desolation Row—An Austin Starr Mystery, in 1968. The Vietnam War backdrop illuminates reluctant courage and desperate love when a world teeters on chaos. Kay’s next mystery, Rainy Day Women (2015) finds amateur sleuth Austin Starr trying to prove a friend didn’t murder women’s liberation activists in Seattle and Vancouver. 

Kay is an award-winning international PR executive living in Texas with her Canadian husband, three house rabbits, and spaniel Wills. Terribly allergic to bunnies, she loves them anyway! Her book titles show she’s a Bob Dylan buff too.

The road to social media before it became social media

June 1995

That’s the year I joined AOL and discovered the AMC bulletin board, where the talks were about our favorite Daytime soap opera, All My Children. Pretty soon, we started getting personal showing concerns for our fellow friends and as a result, the Personal Posters board was born and thus the group became AMC PPers.

A month later, a group of 22 AOL AMC Personal Posters and friends traveled by trains, planes, automobiles and the subway from Florida, Vermont, Ohio, Indiana, New Jersey, Georgia, Michigan, Maryland, Virginia and Brooklyn to meet for the first time in New York City for an AMC PPer reunion.

The highlight of this reunion was a tour of All My Children's studio. There we met the cast, saw them tape a segment and later had an autograph session where we were able to talk with the cast as well. While we were there, there was an ABC photographer and a reporter from Soap Opera Digest. We all got a copy of the show's script and an advance issue of Soap Opera Digest. Later in the year, our visit to the All My Children studio was published in Soap Opera Digest along with the group photo. Click HERE to see article. In 1996, we had a second reunion in NYC and this time we took a tour of the editorial offices of Soap Opera Digest.

That would be the first of many PPer reunions/trips we embarked. We traveled to Chicago (1996), Richmond (1996), New England (1996), New York City (1996), Vermont (1996), Chicago (1997), Washington DC (1997), South Beach (1998), Caribbean Cruise (1998), Boston (1998), Virginia Beach (1998), Los Angeles (1998), Orange CT (1998), Seattle (1999), Seattle (2000), Chicago (2000), Virginia Beach (2000), San Francisco (2000) and Las Vegas (2006). All in all, we had a blast hanging out with each other.

Then the AOL bubble burst with many changes to their platform and finally they removed the bulletin boards and AOL was no longer our social media.

September 2003

I discovered blogs; author blogs, which led to socializing on friend’s blog. I also had my own personal blog where I talked about life in general, my participation in activities and events. At one point, I read or interacted with 100+ blogs learning all I could about an author’s work and also got snippets of their daily lives. Blogs are still around but not as proliferate as they once were. That changed when MySpace and Facebook entered the social media arena.

July 2008

I started a new blog using Wordpress to keep a journal of the books I read. I enjoyed talking about my books and that is when I learned “review” etiquette—don’t give too much detail about a book. In the beginning I was rating the books, but not I choose not to because it’s my opinion and no one else’s.

That’s the year I joined Facebook. And this time we can virtually have one-on-one conversations with our favorite authors. It was heavenly to read their status and learn about their latest book from them as opposed to a page on their website. It was also there that I discovered that I could help authors get the word out on their books. That is where a chat with an author propelled me to attend my first Malice Domestic Convention.

Guess what? Some of the AMC PPers were on FB and lo and behold the Classic PPers were reborned.

May 2009

Twitter – 140 characters – need to have constant eyes to follow all the tweets and retweets. It's good if you know how to write captions to get your message across.  I use it mainly to plug my blog postings for my “A Day in the Life” feature. My first tweet was  "learning how to "compute" using SPSS and I got it"

August 2011
The feature “A Day in the Life” first appeared on dru’s book musing. I always wanted to know what a protagonist's day was like and just that snippet gives you some insight into the character and the book. I’m having so much fun reading all that the characters have to say and I

August 2012
Joined Goodreads – was using it a lot and then there were some discord among the other users, so I just took a break from it.

Other Social Media
Google + - didn’t like it.
Pinterest – got bored

So to Fran, Ida, Blanche, Liz, Risa, Jamie, Laura, Irene, Cheryl, Hilary, Anne-Marie, Karen, Ann, Marci, Julie, Gretchen, Peggy, Beverly, Beth, Cori, Jill, Amy, and anyone else I left out, thanks for being my foray into social media.

A special thanks to Blanche H. for her suggestion for this topic.

So how did you arrive at your social media outlet?

A brave new world - FACEBOOK!

by: Joelle Charbonneau

Okay, Facebook has been around for a while, so it isn't exactly brand new. Each of us have our own social media pages for us to socialize, post cat photos and talk about what we had for dinner, but as of this week we now have combined forces and have a page dedicated to all things STILETTO GANG!

Hurray! Throw confetti!  Dance!  Eat cake!  Take a nap!

Hmmm...well, the last suggestion might not sound all that exciting to some, but the idea of a nap sounds like a wonderful way to celebrate to me.  I guess that's the late night writing sessions and the hectic conference and travel schedule talking.  But hey - we all have different things that make us happy, right?

Which is why a group Facebook page is such a fun concept to me.  Instead of one person blogging every day - which is good...now we can all chat and yammer and give stuff away all on the same days. It's an every day party hosted by a bunch of ladies in high-heeled footwear.  (Or wedges and flats....I can't help it.  High heels and I don't always get along!)  We are still working out all the details on how the Facebook page will evolve and much of that depends on you and what kinds of parties you like best....cake eating?  Confetti throwing, dancing or napping?  However it grows and changes, I can promise you one thing - it's going to a fun adventure.   But of course, for the adventure to really begin, we need you!  

Here's the link: https://www.facebook.com/stilettogang

Like the page.

And let the fun begin!

Anticipation

by: Joelle Charbonneau

It is so easy to get wrapped up in writing new manuscripts and the process of being published, that we often don't take time to enjoy the anticipation that leads up to a book's release.  Or maybe it's just me.  I tend to be the kind that has tunnel vision.  I think about the work that has to be done, not the celebration of the work that has already occurred.

However today is a day for celebration.  In the next couple of months, I will have several books hit shelves.  The first, END ME A TENOR, will be published on April 2nd by Berkley Prime Crime.  I think it is my favorite of all of my mysteries perhaps because there is so much of my performance life hidden in the pages between those covers. 

The second book that will hit shelves is my first young adult novel - THE TESTING.  It will arrive at a bookstore near you on June 4th.  This series has been such a wonderful challenge for me.  My heroine, Cia Vale, has pushed me to consider the world around me in very different ways as has this publishing experience.  While months exist between now and the release of The Testing, lots of cool stuff is starting to happen.  The first of which launches today and I'd like to invite you all to participate.  The Testing has had several different covers.  We thought the final covered had been nailed down, but a new artist who was hired for book 2 took a whack at adding his flare to book one's design and WOW is it amazing.  The reveal of the new The Testing cover is happening today on Facebook where Houghton Mifflin Harcourt has launched a page for all things Testing Trilogy.

Please stop by and take a peek!  I'd love to hear what you think of the cover and have you join me on this strange and wonderful adventure that I am on. 

Mimicking Life?

by Bethany Maines

A few weeks ago I posted a photo on my FB page that said, “If you were in my novel, I’d have killed you off by now.” I’d like to say that was a joke, but the unfortunate part (for everyone else) of being a writer is that I really do use a large chunks of life for my writing. I just don’t use the parts people think I’m going to… or should.

Over the years I’ve had several people offer me “really great” suggestions about what to include in a novel and I’ve taken absolutely none of them. What I have taken, or pilfered, as the case may be, are people’s stories, experience, and random bits of dialogue. Don’t tell me that pine needle basket weaving is a skill you keep up in case of the zombie apocalypse if you don’t want that included in a piece of Maines fiction. Don’t invent clever catch phrases about basic life principles if you don’t want them written down (I’m looking at you Dad aka Ray “Lugnut Rule” Maines).

But when it comes to using an actual person, I try not to do that. For one thing, I know some pretty complex people and capturing them in fiction sounds hard.  And for another… I’m mean.  I really will kill people off, or worse.  I made one of my favorite characters the villain in my first novel what do you think I’d do to someone that annoyed me in real life.  Next thing you know, snooty waitress, you’re going to be a drug mule for an incompetent Norwegian drug lord and TSA will be all up in yer bidness.

That’s not to say I’ve never done it, but it seems like those “characters” never make the final cut; they get edited out before the final draft.  I think it’s because fictional revenge might be fun, but it doesn’t make a good story. It’s hard to draft a solid plot around the impulse to bash an acquaintance in the head, unless the plot is “writer kills client who looks like Toad from Wind in theWillows.”

But that got me to thinking, if I was going to put someone in a novel, who should it be?  My grandmother? My business partner? The annoying neighbor with the miniature horse? Or the highly suspicious old dudes across the street who might be running a chop shop?  Who would you put in a novel?

Writing through... Oooh! Shiny!

by Bethany Maines

What do we think?  Alex Trebek – with moustache or without? Why is it that the only “star” I know on “Dancing With the Stars” is Rikki Lake? Did I buy wrapping paper for that wedding present? And speaking of the wedding, what should I wear to that wedding on Saturday? 

I’m having a wee bit of trouble concentrating (in case you didn’t notice). I’m really close to completing my latest mystery manuscript and if I just buckled down I could be done before you know it. Well, at least by the end of the weekend. But I’m having some sort of mental block.

I sit myself down.  I open all my little files and stare at the screen and then thirty seconds later I'm surfing the web, and checking the newsfeed on Facebook for the umpteenth time. It’s not the same as writer’s block. I know what to write and, theoretically, I know how to write it. This is more like attention deficit disorder for writers. Of course, once I had that thought I went to look up the symptoms of ADHD.

• difficulty paying attention to details and tendency to make careless mistakes in school or other activities; producing work that is often messy and careless

I’m pretty sure my editor thinks this is absolutely true. And since it took me five minutes to realize that I’d left “is” out of one of the sentences of above, I think we can easily say – check.

• easily distracted by irrelevant stimuli and frequently interrupting ongoing tasks to attend to trivial noises or events that are usually ignored by others

Ok, so I ignore the noises, but my dog never does, and then I want to know what he’s looking at so I get up, and then I go for a snack, and then… Ok. Check.

• inability to sustain attention on tasks or activities

 Um… yeah, or I’d be done with the damn novel by now.

• difficulty finishing schoolwork or paperwork or performing tasks that require concentration

Isn’t that the same as the last thing? Didn’t I already… ooh, look at that bird!

• frequent shifts from one uncompleted activity to another

What are you trying to say?  Have you been talking to my business partner? I told her I would finish the quarterly taxes before the deadline!!

• Procrastination

Don’t put off till tomorrow what you can put off until next week, I always say.

• disorganized work habits

Are you implying that working from the couch with notes scattered among the paper tow…napkins from lunch is a bad idea?

• failure to complete tasks such as homework or chores

Seriously, haven’t we already covered this?

• frequent shifts in conversation, not listening to others, not keeping one's mind on conversations, and not following details or rules of activities in social situations

They’re not rules – they’re guidelines.  And conversations are what happen when I’m thinking about plot.

• forgetfulness in daily activities (for example, missing appointments, forgetting to bring lunch)

Oh, whew, I was starting to think I might have this, but since I never forget lunch, I’m out of the woods.

TMI, TMI

We've talked about this before. It's a pet peeve of mine.

Let's agree that the Internet, cell phones, and the social media have changed the world. Looking at the larger picture, these technological advances have literally made possible social and political revolutions. As a writer, I applaud the advances in the digital world that have permanently altered the publishing landscape. To all this I say, Bravo!

But here's my mini-rant for the day. Like 24/7 cable news, the social media is always looking for the next big, juicy story and unfortunately there are way too many faux celebrities who are more than happy to oblige by providing lurid details of their private lives. Skanks and ho's abound. There I've said it and yes, I'm being judgmental. Enough.

But I grew up in an age where you did not discuss your sex life with anyone except possibly your best friend. Otherwise, what happened in the bedroom (or wherever) stayed there. You didn't post your sexual escapade, along with Twitpics, before you would have had time to get dressed.

Here's the incident that prompted this tirade. I don't know Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore, or for that matter Bruce Willis (although I did like the first couple of years of Moonlighting). So it's safe to say that I shouldn't know anything about who they do what with. But every time I open to the AOL home page, I am immediately updated on "The Scandal" that has erupted which involves Ashton cheating on Demi, with some skank, and Bruce, as Demi's ex-husband, feeling obliged to let loose some whoop ass on the man with the roving eye (and other parts apparently).

Okay, as if this were not enough. Sarah Leal, the 22-year old at the center of "The Scandal," felt obliged to tell US Magazine, that she wouldn't have slept with Ashton had she known he was still married (he claimed he was separated). Good to know that she has standards. But she then went on to divulge all the pillow talk (which seemed mainly political), and the birth control method used (none). OY!

Look I know that gossip and sex scandals occurred long before Facebook was invented. I also knows that sex sells, and apparently money is often the motivation in these "Let me tell you what really happened that night" stories that I see. Dare I say this? If you sell your story of a sexual escapade, is that all that different than saying you'll have sex for money? Um, and what is that called?

Bottom Line (and pun is intended): do what you want with whomever you want, assuming everyone is a consenting adult – but do me a favor, please shut up.

Marian

Brianna Sullivan Mysteries - e-book series
I Try Not to Drive Past Cemeteries- Kindle - Nook - Smashwords
The Dog Days of Summer in Lottawatah- Kindle - Nook - Smashwords
The Holiday Spirit(s) of Lottawatah- Kindle - Nook - Smashwords
Undying Love in Lottawatah- Kindle - Nook - Smashwords
A Haunting in Lottawatah - Kindle - Nook - Smashwords
Lottawatah Twister - Kindle - Nook - Smashwords

Sullivan Investigations Mystery - e-book series
Murder Off the Books Kindle - Nook - Smashwords
Riley Come Home (short story)- Kindle - Nook - Smashwords

Romances
Love Lessons - Kindle - Nook - Smashwords

Why I Love Facebook

Families use Facebook to keep in touch, same with teenagers, and authors use it to let people know about their books.

I've heard some say they don't understand Facebook or what the great attraction is--frankly I don't understand those people.

Here's why I love it. I have a huge family and many of them are on Facebook and I get to read what they're doing and see their latest photos. One of my friends from grammar school found me on Facebook. She read about me making an appearance at a college near her home and she met me there and we had dinner together. Never would've happened without Facebook.

Someone who friended me on Facebook made comments after a lot of my posts so I became familiar with her face. When I was giving a talk at a bookstore in her town, she came and I recognized her face immediately. It was like greeting an old friend. Recently she told everyone at another talk that she loved having me for a friend on Facebook because I shared so much of what is going on in my life it made me seem like a "real person" not just a writer. (And she loves my books.)

Other readers I've met at mystery conferences have become my friends and I love reading about what they are up to--and the same with writers I've met in the same places. Especially since Mayhem in the Midlands was cancelled at least I can keep up with the authors and fans that I loved to hang out with.

I like it when people review movies they've seen--I rely on their feelings about the movie much more than any of the paid critics. Same with books, if someone I "know" really likes a book chances are I'll like it too.

I like reading what other members of the Stiletto Gang are doing when they post on Facebook.

So, what are your feelings about Facebook? Love it or hate it? And why?

Marilyn
http://fictionforyou.com Books by Marilyn

Statistical Addiction

by Bethany Maines

Hi, I’m Bethany, and I have a statistical addiction.  What?  This isn’t Statistics Anonymous?  Well, I might as well confess anyway – seeing as I’m already here and among friends.

Recently I took all of my stats on running since 2004 and collated them into one spreadsheet and then I turned them into multiple graphs.  Reading that sentence, might make you think that I’m some sort of competitive runner who’s constantly out doing races and vying for some sort of top women’s ranking in the state.  Let’s just be clear about this… No.  I’m a slow to middling runner who did cross-country in high school.  But I keep track of run distances, times, and routes.  If you wanted to know I could tell you where I was running on this day in 2007.  You probably don’t want to know though.

What I really am is stat obsessed.  I’m also running a Facebook ad for my latest novel, Compact With the Devil.  Who wants to guess how many times a day I check the click through rates on that puppy?  Yeah… a lot.

For those who’ve never attempted to advertise on Facebook, the process is fairly simple. Ads are the little squares that appear on the right hand side of your FB page suggesting that you like them or whatever.  You can target an ad to geographic areas, genders and age-range, and then select the types of things they’d be interested in.  Action-adventure movies and literature/reading were a couple of my topics.  Then the ad goes out and FB puts up statistics on how many people you’ve “reached” (individual viewers of the ad), how many times they’ve seen the ad, and how many people have clicked on your ad.  That’s what I’m interested in – the click through rate.  But I have to admit it’s not just because I’m hoping that a click equals a sale; it’s also because I’m stat-obsessed.

What if I kept track of my tooth brushing patterns for a year?  What fascinating statistics would appear on duration of brushing time, brushing location and toothpaste preference?  Probably the answer is absolutely none.  But I’ll tell you what I have learned from all my stats… just how in control they make me feel.  By carving up the world into little tiny numbers, I feel ever so much more in command.  I feel like I winner every time I run more miles than I did last month because I have totally triumphed over Past Bethany.  In the race against myself I am totally winning (as long as I’m not racing 2007 Bethany – she ran a lot, but 2009 Bethany I’m totally stomping.)  The feeling is a complete illusion of course, but I feel like if I gather up all the little numbers I will some day be able to ultimately control everything!!!  Whu ha ha ha!! <- evil laugh.

Now… somebody talk me down and tell me to stop hitting refresh on the FB stat page.

How Do You Get Everything Done?

That's a question I get asked all the time. The answer is, often I don't.

I make a lot of lists and cross things off when I get them done. Yesterday I planned to work on a book that has just been edited and take care of some of the edits. Instead, I read and answered email, filled out an interview someone sent me, received a great review for Dispel the Mist, the third.

Once I got that of course I had to copy it, put it on the page where I'm keeping those reviews and I had to let my Twitter friends and my Facebook friends know. Holding my breath about the reveiw that might not be so good. My publisher and I both sent the book out to a lot of reviewers.

Hubby brought in the mail and I had to pay a couple of bills and I went on line to cancel a membership to something we never used--should have done that long ago.

Remembered that I should add to my newsletter about my talk at the library (not many showed up but someone I only met on Twitter and his wife traveled 1 1/2 hours just to meet me. Don't tell me Twitter promo doesn't work. Then, of course, my launch Sunday at Kirby Farms in Springville had to be mentioned--that one went super well, lots more people and books sold and the cookies were delicious.)

And that's more or less the way it went all day. I did get a little done, I'm looking for the word was and trying to turn the sentence around in order to eliminate it--works sometimes, not always.

Hubby and I did take time out to watch General Hospital together--its our afternoon rest period.
Cooked and ate a big dinner, but left right after for Bible Study--we're studying Daniel. Came home and my brain doesn't really function well much after seven, so I didn't feel the least bit guilty about watching Dancing with the Stars. (Good excuse, anyway.)

Maybe today will be more organized with less distractions--except I really must get the laundry done.

Marilyn

What I Like and Don't Like

Because I'll be off visiting my daughters in southern California when this blog comes out I decided to follow what my blog mates have been doing and write a list of things about me, namely what I do and don't like.

I don't like TV and radio commentators and reporters from either party who are mean. Being mean is NOT reporting the news nor is it going to change how anyone thinks.

I don't like people who presume I believe the same way as they do just because I don't blast my beliefs all over the place.

I don't like movies that are full of naked people, sex that doesn't do anything for the story, and coarse language that's only there for the shock appeal. (I know what people look like without their clothes and most look best covered up, after being married for 57 years I know all about sex and don't need lessons, and I'm offended by the use of bad language when it isn't necessary.)

I dislike negative people and avoid them--if I can't, I think of ways to put them in my next book.

What I do like is a good mystery--one that entertains me and keeps me guessing to the end.

I also like to eat a good meal whether I cooked it or someone else did.

I love being around my family and friends. Nothing more delightful than seeing how the kids are maturing and learning what everyone is doing.

I love being around my church family who I know I can count on for prayer when I need it.

I love good movies: funny movies, scary movies, romantic movies, exciting movies.

I like Facebook despite its addicting qualities.

I love writing mysteries, I love my characters who seem real to me, and I enjoy meeting people who have read my books.

I like more things than I dislike and I tend to avoid the things that I dislike. Life is too short to waste time on things you don't like.

Now you know more about me than you probably ever wanted to know, but my blog is done and I can go off and have fun with my daughters.

Marilyn
http://fictionforyou.com

A Few of My Favorite Things

I was going to wade into the racially-charged waters of the Henry Louis Gates incident (Gates-gate?) but will leave you with one very succinct quote from Bill Maher which made me laugh no end: “Is your home safe from black intellectuals?” Presumably, Officer Crowley, Dr. Gates, and President Obama will join together in racial harmony this week and share a beer and move past the whole thing, even if in many parts of this country, black men will still be arrested for doing nothing wrong other than being black.

Ok, enough said. We’ve come a long way, but still have a long way to go. On that, I think we can all agree.

So, I now turn to what I like to call “a few of my favorite things” post. Not as popular as Oprah’s list of favorite things and I certainly won’t be sending each and every one of you one of the things on the list but maybe you’ll find yourself intrigued enough to buy one or more item on the list. Here we go:

1. Progresso Pesto Sauce: As faithful readers of this blog, you know that dinner time is a challenge around the Barbieri house. We have one vegetarian, one person on a low-roughage diet (that would be me), one person who eats just about everything, and one person who only likes to eat things, mostly meats, that a group recently cited as those who increase your risk for colorectal cancer (try explaining what that is to a 10-year-old). The answer to all of my prayers? Progresso Pesto Sauce. Yes, I know you can make your own, but that would require that I a) buy a basil plant, b) put it in a pot, c) make sure the cats in the neighborhood don’t use said pot for a litter box, and d) go outside and tend to the plant. None of that is happening friends, I can guarantee you. You know what’s easy, though? Pulling back the plastic lid on a container of store-bought pesto and mixing it with a bunch of hot pasta. Serving a salad and a loaf of Italian bread alongside it. Hearing people in family exclaim that this is their “favorite meal!” and seeing their smiles as they eat it. Easy, not too expensive, and everyone eats it. What could be better?

2. The BodenUSA web site: The country has a long way to go on racial issues and I have a long way to go on dressing myself better. Not so since I discovered the BodenUSA web site. Boden is a company based in the U.K. with moderately-priced but extremely hip clothes for women of a certain age. (That would be me and the northern half of Evelyn David, who is still expounding on her love of the black wrap dress that I encouraged her to buy and which she now owns. If you’d like to see what it looks like, go to www.maggiebarbieri.com. I’m wearing it in the photo on the home page.) And fortunately, as things have shifted southward on me, they have taken to making a line of very stylish tunics, which look fabulous with a pair of jeans or dressier pants and which cover my trouble spot or “writer heinie” which has developed over the past few years. I hesitated giving out this secret because I don’t want to see an army of tunic-wearing women walking around wearing the clothes that I have, but I’m a giver. You already knew that.

3. Facebook: I know. We’re supposed to be tired of social networking sites, but I’ve got to say that I am loving Facebook and enjoying reconnecting with friends and family. I’ve gotten to see pictures of my nieces and nephews on their most recent vacation, learned about who’s doing what from my high school and college classes, and reconnected with a lot of old friends. It’s also a great way to get the word out about my books, learn about other writers in the mystery world, and get feedback on covers and promotional materials. It’s also a nice diversion when I get bored with what I’m doing during my workday and that is not a bad thing.

4. My new Dyson vacuum: Another way Facebook has helped me is that it allows me to get information on products before I buy them. I put in my status update last week that I needed a new vacuum and the comments flooded in. Most encouraged me to get a Dyson and boy am I glad I did. Remembering the southern half of Evelyn David’s post a few weeks back about putting her vacuum together (something I wouldn’t be remotely interested in or adept at), I was concerned about getting a machine that I wouldn’t be able to use right out of the box, let alone have to use a screwdriver to put together. Fortunately, the Dyson was already assembled and after a few test runs, virtually the easiest thing in the world to use. The only drawback? The bagless technology. It’s great—don’t get me wrong. I just don’t enjoy seeing Barbieri dirt—and apparently, there’s a lot of it—swirling around in the clear canister after just one vacuum session. We are apparently a very dirty and disgusting family and my old vacuum, with its bag housed in a canister in which nothing could be seen, kept this ugly secret. I guess I’ll get used to seeing the dirt swirl around, but for right now, I’m pretending it belongs to someone else.

So, that’s it. I could go on but I’ll wait for another post to do so. We still haven’t discussed my love of mocha chip frappacinos from Starbucks but will, I promise. What are your favorite things? More importantly, what can’t you live without?

And don’t forget to protect your home from intellectuals—black, Asian, caucasian, or otherwise.

Social Networking

My MySpace page never amounted to anything. I thought I’d be really cool and put a Beyoncé song on there so people would know how hip I was, but after a few days, I noticed an alert on my site that said: “Song removed by artist.” How did Beyoncé know that I had her song on there? I never could quite figure that out and I was terrified that I had broken some copyright law much less angered Beyoncé. So, I stayed off of MySpace and vowed never to join the social networking world again.

Until a friend turned me on to Facebook. This, to me, seems like a very user-friendly, very safe place to social network. Hey—even my Mom’s on there! I have reconnected with about a third of my high-school graduating class (hi, girls!), a bunch of people I used to work with (remember those crazy annual business plans? Good times…), my old neighbors (remember that time when…you don’t…well, ok). It’s a great way to advertise when your latest book comes out and a good way to stay in touch with people far and near.

There are just a few problems with the social networking idea, though: getting “friend” requests from people you don’t know, and never hearing back from people to whom you yourself have sent a “friend” request. Awkward on both accounts. I’m assuming that those people who send you friend requests—and whom you’ve never met—have found you on one of your other friend’s lists and thinks that because you have one common friend, the two of you will have stuff in common. And that you’ll be interested in reading their status updates. Or, that they are trying to amass as many friends as possible so that they have a robust list. I’m not sure. I only “friend” people I knew or know now, which is why I don’t understand when they don’t “friend” me back. Maybe they just don’t like? Hard to tell.

One thing’s for sure: this is the most like a high school student I’ve felt in about thirty years. That’s one problem. (Or two, technically, I suppose.) The second is that I’m a little obsessed with Facebook. I now have another time-wasting site to visit, going back to last week’s theme of procrastination. I have plenty of work to keep me busy and technically, I should be a little further along on book 5. But I find the status updates from friends scintillating and worthy of my time. Tell me, though: do I really need to check it so obsessively every day to find out who had a pastrami on rye for lunch? Or who has decided to leave work early? Or who is on their second gin and tonic (and it’s only three o’clock in the afternoon)? Probably not. I was living a full life before Facebook not knowing these little tidbits. Now I’m loathe to miss even one update.

The latest craze on Facebook is to post twenty-five things about yourself. These lists take many forms and have many different kinds of entries from the banal (“I don’t like onions”) to the poignant (“I wish I were a better friend to x or x”). I’ve been “tagged”—asked to contribute my own list of twenty-five things—but I feel like if I need to share that many things about myself, I’ll get my husband liquored up and make him listen to me drone on about the things I don’t think he knows about me. (And trust me—he knows everything there is to know, hence, the liquored up part.)

Thanks to fellow Stiletto Gang member Susan McBride, I no longer check my Amazon number, read reviews of my books online, or Google myself. Should we add Facebook to the list? Should I limit myself to one viewing in the morning and/or one at night? Or should I go off completely?

I have a friend who just took the drastic step of going through her friend list and “un-friending” anyone with whom she was just not a true friend. This meant the guy who used to work in marketing at our old company, or the hair dresser she had when she lived across the country, and a few other people who my friend reflected on, coming to the conclusion that they just weren’t very nice to her when they lived/worked/or went to school together. I thought this was truly radical but not a step I’m willing to take right now.

So, for the foreseeable future, I will wait with baited breath to read whether or not you got your car’s oil changed, or got that promotion, or read the latest book in the “Twilight” series. I, in the interest of a reciprocal friendship, will let you know how I did on Weight Watchers this week, or what my favorite “King of Queens” episode is.

That’s what (virtual) friends are for, right?

Maggie