by Linda Rodriguez
Yesterday
I just crashed. I slept late. I couldn’t get myself moving on
anything I had to do, not this blog post or another guest blog that’s
due, not my usual stint on the WIP, not any of the several business
emails I needed to take care of, not trying to clear some of the
clutter and mess that have collected in my house as I’ve launched
and promoted two books while writing yet another, taking care of a
slew of freelance commitments, and preparing and teaching several
workshops. Usually I rise early, take a deep breath, gird my loins
for the day’s battle with the endless to-do list, and kick into
overdrive, but yesterday I couldn’t muster the energy or the will
to do much of anything productive. This is not like me.
While
driving with my husband past Kansas City’s Plaza, which is a
premier pedestrian shopping mall/outdoor art gallery full of
fountains, intricate and colorful Spanish tiles, ornate buildings,
and beautiful sculptures, I reminisced sadly about the good times we
used to have walking the Plaza and sitting on one of the many benches
to watch the parade of people. I reminded my husband of the fun we
had taking picnic lunches to some of Kansas City’s many great parks
to enjoy after a refreshing walk. I waxed nostalgic over the weekend
day trips we used to make to explore lovely small towns all around
the Kansas City area—I’ve given many of their best features to my
fictional town in my Skeet Bannion series of novels. The strange
thing is that, though we don’t do any of those things any longer
due to lack of time, we used to do them when I had an
ultra-demanding, 60-70-hour per week university job. Now that I’m a
full-time writer, however, I have no time to enjoy leisure activities
with my husband or any of the other things I used to do to make a
real life—cooking, fiberart, gardening, going to Shakespeare or
concerts in the park, lunches with friends, etc.
How
did this terrible imbalance in my life occur? Isn’t one of the joys
of being a full-time writer supposed to be the flexibility of time
that allows you to lead a fuller, richer life? How did I manage with
that old job and all its hours and responsibilities to weave in time
for recreation and fun, time with family and friends, time to feed
the creative well inside me, yet now I can hardly find time to even
wash dishes or do laundry, the minimal tasks required to keep us from
sinking into total chaos?
If I
were just writing my books, I would have time to enjoy some of these
activities still, but I have to promote those books in an effort to
constantly increase sales. Publishers are dumping, left and right,
amazing writers who have received impressive reviews and award
nominations because their sales are just not spectacular enough. So I
have to work harder to try to get the word out about my books and
persuade new people to try them. The writing and publishing (with its
line edits, copy edits, and page proofs) when combined with the
promotion and marketing (with its touring, social media, conferences,
and events) are two full-time jobs. Since my writing career is still
not earning enough to support me, I must take on freelance
writing/editing/evaluating/judging/teaching contracts, yet another
full-time job. It’s no wonder I’m so tired!
I’m
hardly the only writer in this predicament. Writers who are far more
successful and have been doing this for far longer than I have are
facing the same dilemma. The Sisters in Crime listserv periodically
rings with the cries of authors who have run out of steam trying to
do all of this. Some are even seriously thinking of giving up
writing, which they love, because they just don’t think they can do
all of it any longer.
As a
country, we are moving more and more to a freelance or independent
contractor environment, where we don’t have paid vacation and sick
days and where we can find ourselves working all the time—or
feeling as if we ought to be. How do we make a go of this kind of
career and still have any kind of life outside of work?
I’m
the first to admit I don’t have the answers to that question. I
will be spending my next few days trying to find some, however. How
we spend our time is our actual life, even if we think we’re just
doing it until we
bring in enough money or reach a certain level of success. I intend
to find a way to bring those elements of a real, lived life back into
mine. Can I do it without shortchanging the efforts I need to put
into my writing and promotion of my work to create a successful
career? I’ll have to find a way.
How
do you manage that career-personal life balance that can be so
difficult to get right?
Linda Rodriguez's Plotting the
Character-Driven Novel, based on her popular workshop, and The
World Is One Place: Native American Poets Visit the Middle East,
an anthology she co-edited, are her newest books. Every Family
Doubt, her fourth mystery novel featuring Cherokee campus police
chief, Skeet Bannion, will appear in autumn, 2017. Her three earlier
Skeet novels—Every Hidden Fear, Every Broken Trust,
and Every Last Secret—and
her books of poetry—Skin Hunger
and Heart's Migration—have
received critical recognition and awards, such as St. Martin's
Press/Malice Domestic Best First Novel, International
Latino Book Award, Latina Book Club Best Book of 2014, Midwest Voices
& Visions, Elvira Cordero Cisneros Award, Thorpe Menn Award, and
Ragdale and Macondo fellowships. Her short story, “The Good
Neighbor,” published in the anthology, Kansas City Noir, has
been optioned for
Rodriguez is past chair of the AWP
Indigenous Writer’s Caucus, past president of Border Crimes chapter
of Sisters in Crime, founding board member of Latino Writers
Collective and The Writers Place, and a member of International
Thriller Writers, Wordcraft Circle of Native American Writers and
Storytellers, and Kansas City Cherokee Community. Visit her at
http://lindarodriguezwrites.blogspot.com
I guess everyone else is too busy to comment :). It is ironic that you posted this on a Friday. I work two jobs for about 70 hours a week. Fridays I work both jobs. I am out of the house at 7:00AM to drop off my children at school. Then off to work at job one. At 4:00pm I will clock out and head to job two and clock in at 5:00pm. Today will be a little extra fun. The road between job A and job B is still 20 feet or so under water. Typically job B, delivering pizza has a 2:00AM clock out time. With luck I will be back at my house by 3:00am. And then of course, starts Saturday.
ReplyDeleteI make the most of the time I get to spend with my children. Yes this means sometimes the clothes are a little wrinkly, but it was a nice day and we had ice cream instead.
Carve out some time. Schedule in a lunch in the park with hubs. Pad a book signing to take in the area. And sometimes, you have to say no even when you want to say yes.
Alan, I think you definitely have the right set of priorities.
ReplyDeleteLinda--
ReplyDeleteI've encountered a similar experience. Although I now teach only three classes, staying afloat while grading, promoting work(with which I am able to spend far less time than you do), writing,serving as the faculty advisor for THE CURRENT, and keeping my house in order have driven me into melt-down mode. Sigh. Two more classes of portfolios to grade and many, many folders to dump, then, perhaps, I'll catch a few leisurely walks again. :)
I know, Lindsey. We don't go to nearly as many literary and community events as we used to. I have simply had to face the fact that, since the cancer hit, I haven't the same levels of energy and stamina that I has. It's all I can do to do what I must do. Going to have to find a way to slow down the pace of work and deadlines, I think.
ReplyDeletedo you meditate?
Deletecomment. ha ha. hi Linda glad you're back. i'm back too.
ReplyDeleteLinda, I struggle. You make it seem doable. I admire your passion for writing. I've decided I'm not a cleaning lady or cook. I'm a writer; but tell my husband and house I'm a writer, ha ha. You have been such a tremendous inspiration for me and many writers. I wish I lived nearby so I could go make you pancakes with blueberries and pinones.
ReplyDeleteOh Juliana, what a sweet thought! We'll get together again, I'm sure.
Deleteacutally, I tried to make pancakes and write this comment and I burned my frickin' pantiecakes. uhg.
ReplyDeleteAs long as you didn't burn yourself. I leave my electronics out of the kitchen when I cook for that very reason.
DeleteRemembering the end-of-school-year frenzy to complete tests, grades, recommendations, I am feeling sympathy for former colleagues. I recall that I scheduled all possible personal business for the summer months. Retired for health reasons, I tried the "reinvent yourself second career" concept, but am now focusing on human be-ing, not human doing . . . and if something isn't emotionally rewarding and/or necessary, it's way down the list. Reading great books like yours are at the top of that list. Hugs <3
ReplyDeleteMary, I envy you, but I could never give up writing. So it's my own fault.
ReplyDelete