I'm not a fan of war movies--but hubby is, so with some reluctance from me we went together.
First I should say that I've read all the controversy over the movie--but I also read comments by my daughter and several friends who loved it.
First off, it isn't a pro-war movie--it is a factual movie about war, if anything, it's the opposite.
Second, Chris Kyle was not a coward--he was a hero, and his main mission was to protect our men.
And third, and the most important part, the movie was a good depiction of what happens to a man and how the changes affect a family.
How do I know it was factual portrayal? Because I experienced some of what his wife and family did.
Hubby spent 3 tours in Vietnam as a Seabee. No, he didn't shoot anyone, but he and the base he worked from were underfire all the time. When he worked with the heavy equipment building roads and airstrips, he was shot at--and a Marine riding with him shot back--but they kept on working.
Like Chris Kyle, he didn't like to talk about what went on over there--and still doesn't.
Like Chris Kyle, between tours he wasn't the man I married. And he was always anzious to go back (something I couldn't understand), though he turned down the 4th tour and soon retired with 20 years of service.
Besides the worry of whether or not something may happen to the amn you love and the father of your children, not only does he change while in combat--but you change too. When you are the one running the home and taking care of the emergencies (with 5 kids there were plenty of those), you become independent and it's hard to give up being in charge when hubby does come home--especially if it's only for a short time. (This wasn't depicted in the movie, but I know it happens.)
I remember once saying to my husband, "You may be a Chief in the Navy, but I'm the Admiral of this house." I don't remember his reaction, and it's probably a good thing that I don't.
I was blessed because I still have my husband, and over the years he's mellowed.
Marilyn
Great post. I can't imagine trying to change roles all the time. It must be very difficult both having someone away (and worrying for their safety) and then the change in family dynamics when they come home.
ReplyDeleteAnn
It wasn't easy, but we both hung in there and we'll celebrate our 64th wedding anniversay this October.
DeleteGod Bless You and Yours, Marilyn
ReplyDeleteThank you, Pam.
ReplyDeleteDear Marilyn, congratulations to you and your husband for going the distance--soon to be 64 years. In the old days most in America would know at least some of what you endured. That was the WWII generation. Now with the all-volunteer army, it is so easy to just let others worry about all this stuff and go merrily off to the mall, tra la. I think it's a dangerous situation, too easy to send troops.
ReplyDeleteI think about this kind of stuff all the time and always have. Even more since 9/11 and especially since my son has a military career. He did two tours in Iraq and has, so far, avoided Afghanistan. Knock on wood. I won't see this movie because it is all too real to me. I watch my DIL cope with her two children while her husand/my son is many states away for a half year or more. That is relatively easy compared to a war zone. I think you are all very brave who live with such difficulties. My hat is off to you and your husband and all the others.
It absolutely isn't easy. Our home was close to the Seabee base, but I did normal mother things--PTA, had a Camp Fire group, and at times had to work because the Navy pay was so small.
ReplyDelete