Learning from our pets

by: Joelle Charbonneau

It’s still pet week (or weeks to accommodate those of us who post every other week) here on the Stiletto Gang.  When the group talked about doing some themed blog posts, I was happy to hear we were going to chat about our pets both past and present, because you can learn a lot about a person by hearing them talk about the animals that share their lives.

But while I had a great idea for a funny blog post in mind, I have chosen not to write it.  Why?  Because my heart is breaking for a friend.

Yesterday, I learned that a dear friend and fellow author, Ellery (Jen) Adams, lost a member of her family.  Her sister-in-law gave birth through c-section to a beautiful baby girl and then passed away before she ever had the chance to look into her baby’s eyes.  This year, I, too, have experienced the loss of a close family member, so I admit that I broke down and cried when I heard the news. 

There never seems to be enough time with our loved ones.  Sometimes the final goodbye lasts months or years, but often, as in Ellery’s case, the final moments come too soon leaving us with thoughts of the things we wished we said or did.  Making us long for extra moments where we could share our love without reservation.

Too often in our lives, we hold back.  We don’t say what is in our heart because we worry that someone will think we’re overemotional, or dramatic or just plain odd.  Sometimes we don’t express what is in our hearts and minds because the people we care about are not demonstrative in their affection.  Sometimes, we are scared to risk sharing our feelings in case they are not returned.  Other times we just take for granted that there will be moments in the future to embrace what we feel.

But those moments don’t always exist and too often we are left sad and unhappy that we didn’t grab those precious moments as we should have. 

Which is why we should learn from the theme of the last two weeks….our pets 

Dogs don’t worry about whether showering you with affection is going to embarrass them.  (If they did, we probably wouldn’t see quite so many dogs sniffing crotches.)  Cats don’t fret about whether the love they give is returned.  At least my cat doesn’t.  He just worms his way onto my lap and insists that I make him feel loved.  Rabbits, camels, gerbils, guinea pigs, parrots, ferrets…none of the animals we welcome into our lives worry about the proper time to express their love.  They just love us.  And because of that we love them.  Unashamedly.  Without reserve.  Without waiting for the right moment to express what is in our heart.

So today, I say that we should learn from our pets and learn to express affection to those we love every time the moment strikes.  We should go to those we care about, wrap our arms around them so tight they try to wriggle away and let them know they are important.  So we are never left wondering or wishing.

And for those of you who pray….please put a special prayer in your heart for Ellery and her family and send as much love and affection as you can her way.

Why Don't I Write about Sex?

by Ellery Adams.



Why don’t I?

Because I’m no good at it.

Wait, that came out wrong.

When I began writing mysteries, I focused on the puzzle first. I’ve always been a bit of a jigsaw puzzle geek and now I even do cryptograms when I’m waiting a long time (at the doctor’s office, for example. Why do we make appointments just to sit for thirty-forty minutes anyway? They should just hand out numbers like they do at the deli counter).

Next up, I turned my attention to the characters. From that point, the setting came into play. I steered away from romantic entanglements because I could never write them as well as the other stuff.

Now, with my Books By the Bay mysteries, I start with the characters and they drag me by the hair, this way and that, in true caveman style until the book unfolds like a rose. Thus far, none of them have shown an interest in getting naked. Great. I get down to the other elements and don’t have any R-rated sex scenes to worry about.

My heroine, Olivia Limoges, is a haunted, cynical, independent heiress who refuses to be swept off her feet by anyone. What a relief! Still, I can’t leave her on the shelf forever. I mean, the woman’s got needs. I can do a closed-door fling with the charismatic bookstore owner for now, but eventually, the man the readers sense Olivia belongs with is going to do something so heroic that she’ll have to defrost long enough to well, disrobe.

But not yet. I can hold off for another book. Because when that scene happens, it has to be right. It’s Olivia’s first time, after all. At least, it’s her first time being put on display by me.

This moment has to be as deftly executed as the clues woven into the plot. She has to be ready. I have to be ready. How much do you want to see in your mystery? Tell the truth now. Do you want your couples to go inside and shut the door? Or do you want to peek through the keyhole?

*Feel free to stop by my website. I am giving away a 3G Kindle on March 8th to celebrate the release of A Deadly Cliché and it’s not too late to enter the contest! Thanks for having me, ladies!