The Joy of Being Pregnant (and the Less Enjoyable Things, Too)

By Susan McBride

Now that I’m in my seventh month with Baby Emily due in late June (although my mom keeps saying, “No way you’re going to make it ‘til then!”), I thought I’d scribble down the fun stuff--and not so fun stuff--as I see it so far anyway.  It’s definitely been a new experience full of the unexpected, like the incredibly itchy rash I put up with for nearly six weeks before I broke down and took Prednisone; the pregnancy rhinitis that makes it feel like I have that Mucus Family from the TV commercial living in my throat; the swelling that can make my feet and ankles resemble puff pastry; the exhaustion and brain fog; and all the other reminders that I’ve got another being that’s taken me over.  Still, I wouldn’t trade any of that for the world, because the end result—a baby!—will be so incredibly worth it. If there's one thing I know for sure, it's that this pregnancy has certainly renewed my faith in miracles. After going through a bunch of bumps in the road these past five years, it’s awfully nice to be reminded of the good surprises life can bring!  And I can't imagine any surprise better than this. 

Okay, the things I love about being pregnant (in no particular order):

1. I can eat six times a day and no one says, “Haven’t you had enough? Put the bagel with peanut butter down and step away from the counter.” 

2. Going shopping for large shirts because I’ve outgrown my smalls and mediums is actually a positive thing. 

3. Feeling Emily move!  I just love the sensation of her squirming around, kicking, poking, twisting. It’s so reassuring, and I feel like we’re communicating.  She’ll poke me, and I’ll rub that spot and say, “Hey, baby!  How’s it going?”  It’s our own Morse code.

4.  Ed is in charge of cleaning litter boxes (although I have gloves to wear when it’s an emergency, although that’s only happened a handful of times).

5.  I never feel guilty when I sit down, put my puffy feet up, and rest.

6.  When I say, “After I turn the guest room into a nursery, I’m re-doing the living room,” Ed doesn’t bat an eye. (I’ve made a point to show him all the articles about pregnant women nesting.)

The things I (occasionally) whine about:

1.  I pee every 15 minutes.  Okay, maybe not that often, but it sure feels like it. By my ninth month, no doubt I’ll know the location of every public restroom in town.

2.  I can’t find a comfortable position to sleep. Every time I try to turn, it’s like moving a bowling ball around and requires readjustment of pillows, sheets, night gown, etc. Then by the time I’m settled down again, I have to pee.

3.  I can’t see much below my belly. Shaving has gotten very scary. The only time in the past when I nicked myself this much was when I was about thirteen and handed my first Daisy razor.

4.  It’s hard to gauge distances between my belly and anything. I’ve run into more bathroom vanities, kitchen countertops, doorways, and grocery carts with my baby bump than I can count. And every time I do, I stop and ask Emily, “Are you okay in there?” 

5.  Ed doesn’t want me going for pedicures as he’s afraid of my breathing in fumes from the salon and using equipment that other people’s feet have used.  And trying to give myself pedicures just isn’t the same, particularly since I have a hard time seeing my toes much less reaching them.

6.  Not being able to go outside and work in the yard and garden. I honestly miss pulling weeds, trimming plants, and digging in the dirt.  Not only is getting my hands in dirt a no-no (for the same reason I’m not supposed to clean litter boxes, the dreaded toxo!), but it’s very uncomfortable bending and squatting to work. So I think the green things around our house are going to look a little wild this year!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go pee, get something to eat, put my feet up, and engage in a little mommy-baby Morse code with Emily.  I think she’s trying to tell me which car seat she’d like me to order.