Monday, January 13, 2014

Permission Granted

By Evelyn David

One of the things I'm finally realizing, and sadly it's taken me way too long to reach this conclusion, is that I need to stop apologizing for being me. I certainly have given that lecture more times than I can count as my kids were growing up. Encouraging them to be independent; "own" their accomplishments; have their own opinions; acknowledge their fears – and never apologize for their emotions. But I can talk the talk better than I can walk the walk. I've spent way too much time hiding or putting on a brave face or making fun of myself for my own preferences and fears.

Now one can say, fake it until you make it. And that's certainly true in many situations. But in this particular case, I'm talking about experiences in life that are optional. Or in my case, I'm talking about fear of flying. I hate it. The only way I get on an airplane and not make a total fool of myself is by taking drugs.

And I do that. Several times a year, I have to fly. If the distance is at all drive-able, I always opt for car over plane. No need to tell me that the risk of an accident in a car is so much higher than air travel. I know all the stats and they are meaningless in the face of fear. But in order to see my sons, one of whom lives in Seattle, the other soon to live in Paris – I've got to fly.

But here's the part that I'm finally realizing. I don't have to like it. I don't have to get over it. Sure, it might be nice if I did, but that doesn't seem to be happening.  I finally came to terms with: "This is who I am. I have other stellar qualities I hope, but if I have this particular fear, stop trying to tease me about it, talk me out of it, or point out how silly it is." Most fears aren't logical. If they were, we'd all be bungee-jumping off Mt. Rainier.

Do you have a fear which others think silly? What, if anything, have you done about it?

By the way, did I mention that I am scared to death of snakes? There I said it!

Marian, the scaredy-cat half of Evelyn David

Evelyn David's Mysteries 
Audible    iTunes

Audible    iTunes

Brianna Sullivan Mysteries - e-book series
I Try Not to Drive Past Cemeteries- Kindle - Nook - Smashwords
The Dog Days of Summer in Lottawatah- Kindle - Nook - Smashwords
The Holiday Spirit(s) of Lottawatah- Kindle - Nook - Smashwords
Undying Love in Lottawatah- Kindle - Nook - Smashwords
A Haunting in Lottawatah - Kindle - Nook - Smashwords
Lottawatah Twister - Kindle - Nook - Smashwords
Missing in Lottawatah - Kindle - Nook - Smashwords
Good Grief in Lottawatah - Kindle - Nook - Smashwords
Summer Lightning in Lottawatah - Kindle - Nook - Smashwords
Lottawatah Fireworks - Kindle - Nook - Smashwords

The Ghosts of Lottawatah - trade paperback collection of the Brianna e-books
Book 1 - I Try Not to Drive Past Cemeteries (includes the first four Brianna e-books)
Book 2 - A Haunting in Lottawatah (includes the 5th, 6th, and 7th Brianna e-books)
Book 3 - Lottawatah Fireworks (includes the 8th, 9th, and 10th Brianna e-books)

Sullivan Investigations Mystery series
Murder Off the Books Kindle - Nook - Smashwords - Trade Paperback
Murder Takes the Cake Kindle - Nook - Smashwords - Trade Paperback 
Murder Doubles Back Kindle - Nook - Smashwords - Trade Paperback
Riley Come Home (short story)- Kindle - Nook - Smashwords
Moonlighting at the Mall (short story) - Kindle - Nook - Smashwords

Love Lessons - Kindle - Nook - Smashwords



  1. So on point! Thanks for reminding all of us that there are things we may not like about ourselves, but all of them together make up who each of us is. BTW, you need to meet my husband who is so-o-oh afraid of snakes, too.

  2. Marian - Great post! There are those things that no amount of "try this" or "get over it" are going to change and as Debra said, it's just part of who we are. We don't have to like, uhm, for example... spiders.