Monday, April 12, 2010

Oh for Goodness Sakes

Fair warning: Another judgmental blog.

According to Whoopi Goldberg, Jesse James may have simply been searching for "something different" outside his marriage to Sandra Bullock. On her TV show, The View, she explained, "Hey, listen, I did it five or six times ... Yes, I screwed around. Yes, while I was married. I made those mistakes too, yeah. It happens sometimes. It happens. Maybe he was trying to find something different too."

Well, okay, then. As long as he found what he needed, then the detritus left in the wake of this marital betrayal, the humiliated wife and devastated children, are just unfortunate casualties.

We’ve all been subjected to way too much information about men in the public eye and their mistresses. I’m always left thinking that these guys have too much time on their hands and too much money to waste. I’m not na├»ve enough to think that men working two jobs and still barely making ends meet aren’t capable of cheating. But maybe if you didn’t have so much household help that frees you from the necessary, but not glamorous jobs required to keep the home fires burning, maybe you’d have less time to dream up loathsome costumes for you and your honey to wear. And please Mr. James, don’t tell me how your Jewish godfather gave you the Nazi hat, so that makes it okay. Rule number one: it’s never okay to wear Nazi uniforms or tattoo swastikas on your body. No exceptions.

When my kids were little, my husband and I spent our evenings doing homework with them (Oy, that second grade project of the planetary system hanging off a wire hangar mobile); or arguing with them over what constituted a sufficient number of green beans that needed to be consumed by children under ten at dinner; or making hundreds of rice krispie treats to be sold at bake sales that would finance something (a class trip, a charity, the school play). In other words, being covered in marshmallow goop was time-consuming, messy, and yes, sometimes fun, but in any case, always used up any spare time that might have been spent on outside nookie.

And not only have these men found the time to fool around, but heck they’re going for world records in having multiple mistresses simultaneously. And the subtle implication that Mr. James was lonely because his wife was in Alabama filming what would turn out to be the biggest role of her life – um, if you’re lonely, pick up a book and read it. Or better yet, pick up several and read them to your kids.

But in any case, I think I can safely speak for many of the Stiletto Faithful when I ask, nay demand, that all these folks should shut up. I don’t want to hear any more public apologies, nor do I want to hear any more demands for personal apologies from mistresses who feel betrayed by their lovers. None of this should be played out in the media – and nobody should be making a buck from this sordid mess (hear that Gloria Allred?).

Indignantly yours,

Marian (the Northern half of Evelyn David)


  1. I hear ya, Marian! So tired of cheating husbands and their hos in the news. I wish good people with brains and big hearts would make the headlines instead of the trash. The "news" these days has turned into the National Enquirer on steroids, and it's like watching one train wreck after another. Ugh.

  2. Remember, back in the day, when being involved in a scandal meant that you went somewhere and hid until it blew over? Ah, the good old days. Great post, Marian. Our nights are spent trying to collectively figure out the answers to fifth-grade math homework. It doesn't leave time for too much else. Maggie

  3. I couldn't agree more. I came across your blog by clicking Next, Next, Next. What an adventure!I'm strictly a K-Swiss person (old lady in tennis shoes) but more power to you!

  4. aMEN!

    I join you on this soapbox, Marian.

  5. Before the National Enquirer, way back when I was a kid (the dark ages), some newspapers focused on scandal. One was the Daily News published in L.A. We got three newspapers every day, and the Daily News was one of them.

    People have always loved reading about the dirty secrets of famous people--my sweet Christian mom was one of them.

    Frankly, I'm getting tired of it. When I was leaving the grocery store, all of the magazines had "shocking" headlines about famous people, some of it untrue.

    Wouldn't it be nice to hear about the movie stars who have stayed married and true to their spouses? Wait a minute, are there any?

    Marilyn, being cynical

  6. Amen Marian, AMEN!!!

    I read somewhere that the National Enquirer is up for the Pulitzer Prize... I don't know what this world is coming to but I don't like it very much


  7. Thanks to all for your comments. It is sad that all we hear about are those people who behave badly -- as opposed to celebrating those who do good deeds (in Hollywood or elsewhere).


  8. I think it's interesting that so many people want to know deep personal secrets about their favorite stars/celebrities, yet would be appalled if anyone stuck their nose into THEIR business. Folks: Put down the tabloid and move away from the movie star, and no one gets hurt.

  9. One of my main gripes is that this sort of thing isn't being "reported" by JUST the tabloids any more. It's reported by what we're supposed to believe is "real" news; "legimate" news. HA! Can you even imagine some of the "real" news journalists, ie, Walter Cronkite (did I misspell his name?) reporting on trash such as this? never.
    And because of it, this former news junkie now limits her news intake to NPR and BBC on-line. It's amazing what I read about our government at BBC.

  10. Well said!

    I honestly dont care if their apologies are sincere or not. Bottom line is they knowingly made choices, ended up hurting those they supposedly love and it gets worse with the media. And as long as they keep talking it stays there...

    And let's face it. most women are disgusted, many men envious. And after the fallout, there will be yet another similar scandal.


  11. Hear, hear! Or is that here, here? Whichever, I'm with you!