I would like to offer up an amendment to the constitution of the United States. It would tweak the 1st Amendment to abridge the freedom of speech in the following ways and circumstances:
1. No individual or group, especially those claiming to have God on their side, are allowed to protest, disrupt, or interfere with a funeral. Don't believe it's happening? Click here.
2. No senator or representative is allowed to heckle the President of the United States during a State of the Union address.
3. Politicians, entertainers, sports figures, religious leaders, and other public figures are barred from making any public reference to any type of "rehab."
4. No mistress can insist on a public apology from her paramour because he lied to her. Lying is the very foundation of an affair. Corollary: No mistress can hire Gloria Allred to represent her interests in a public discussion of said affair.
5. The word "Maverick" and any form of that word is banned from any usage that doesn't directly involve livestock or James Garner.
6. The phrase, "Yes, we can" should be immediately retired from political statements and speeches. Just because we "can" doesn't mean we should or will.
7. [You fill in the blank. What words would you like to hear less of?]
aka The Southern Half of Evelyn David